Reports of a crash involving a truck carrying herpes-infected monkeys caused an outbreak of sick burns – 17 top bananas
The latest season of the crazy reality show that is the US of A has taken a turn and a half with some news straight out of a dystopian blockbuster.
BREAKING: Truck hauling monkeys infected with hepatitis C, herpes and COVID overturns on highway in Mississippi — one monkey on loose – reports pic.twitter.com/9waFiDyxaq
— Insider Paper (@TheInsiderPaper) October 28, 2025
All but one of the monkeys have been found and destroyed, and Tulane University clarified that they were not infected with any diseases – but it was too late to stop the rumour spreading.
The story is sad and shocking, of course, but it’s also basically the set up to a lot of jokes. Here’s how Twitter responded.
1.
Quick someone overturn a truck full of typewriters https://t.co/PmS5JxRlex
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) October 28, 2025
2.
We just need 11 more monkeys, Brad Pitt & Bruce Willis and we’ve got ourselves a movie https://t.co/MMBO7pjbkB
— Tom Jamieson (@jamiesont) October 28, 2025
3.
Trump's Golden Age.
Monkeys with herpes & Covid on the loose.
Government shutdown.
Americans starving
Farms crumbling
Economy crashing
The Trump family making billions https://t.co/w4sI40X3Qq
— Cuckturd (@CattardSlim) October 28, 2025
4.
*looks directly at camera* https://t.co/HReMUD4wqs
— Myk is Evolving, Stand By (@mykola) October 28, 2025
5.
Can we stop letting @StephenKing write the real world please.
— Coach House Chambers (@HouseChambers) October 29, 2025
6.
I need an update on this aggressive monkey and the immediate area before 28 Days. https://t.co/yPgza3l0rf
— Dr. Lös Real ID (Ali’s Version) (@LosRealAli) October 29, 2025
7.
A once in a lifetime headline https://t.co/ofl6A5P811
— Dli O’Doir (@dli_odoir) October 28, 2025
8.
https://t.co/6Dizr1TafO pic.twitter.com/vxvKULDly1
— P(h)atrick (@f4tr1ck) October 28, 2025
9.
All my apes, gone. https://t.co/68eqYSYoKZ
— The Great Sage, PhD (@ShriekingNoises) October 28, 2025