‘What’s the first thing you do when you get home?’ – 17 after work routines that prove we’re all similarly weird

When we’re at work, we all have to pretend that we’re functional, dignified human beings. But when we get home, it turns out we’re all the same bunch of oddball imposters.

At least that’s according to the findings of Prudent_Heron758, who was interested to hear what people get up to as soon as they’re back in the comfort of their homes. So much so that they put this question to the good folks over at r/AskReddit:

‘What’s the first thing you do when you get home?’

This is what people are really like behind closed doors…

1.
‘Greet my cat like we haven’t seen each other since the Cold War’
-Sweet_Lunar1

2.
‘Bra off STAT’
-DM_catpics

3.
‘Take off my real-life costume and switch to my final form: blanket burrito.’
-WallFamiliar8295

4.
‘smoke a bowl’
-spooksauce

5.
‘I wash my hands, I never touch anything at home without washing my hands’
-Suspicious-Union-916

6.
‘get naked’
-WhenAllElseFail

7.
‘Not every day, but most days: martini. And it’s a gibson, which means gin and an onion. Vodka doesn’t belong in a martini.’
-Fickle_Roll8386

8.
‘shoes > off

‘dogs > attention

‘bed > starfish’
-Important-Canary-770

9.
‘Cry. (I’m a high school teacher.)’
-SchoolteacherUSA