31 Christmas tweets to get you into the spirit of the season – or send your Bah! Humbug! levels through the roof
It’s not much longer until that blessed day – when you can take down the decorations, predict when the next bin collection will be with a reasonable degree of accuracy, and forget Noddy Holder exists for another ten and a half months.
Until then, however, it’s still the Christmas season, and with that comes a load of Christmas season jokes – like these.
1.
Martin Lewis should do a tour of the UK in January to switch off each town's Christmas lights
— Ross Sayers (@Sayers33) December 3, 2025
2.
I said “If I don’t see you before have a good Christmas!” to someone this morning, and I just saw them again. Mortified to be honest.
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 17, 2025
3.
My nativity tableau features Joseph's son from his first marriage arriving back for Christmas with no money and a big bag of dirty laundry after spending his gap year backpacking in Southeast Asia, and asking to crash in the stable until he, like, gets himself sorted.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) December 17, 2025
4.
I feel like this holiday season, it's important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more
— Dana Schwartz – on hiatus (@DanaSchwartzzz) December 11, 2025
5.
Me: I love the holidays.
Wife: We have to clean the house before company comes.
Me: I hate the holidays.
— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) December 12, 2025
6.
It’s like no one ever talks about what a dick Santa was to Rudolph before he needed him.
— Darla (@ddsmidt) December 11, 2025
7.
*Start of Mad Men episode*
Pete: Santa? Not real? That's ridiculous! Then who EATS the cookies?
*End of episode*
Don: Santa, uhh, took me to the North Pole… In his sleigh. I met the reindeer, the elves. *sighing* He asked if I had been good this year but he knew
Peggy: Jesus…— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) December 12, 2025
8.
Imagine if your true love got you 12 drummers drumming, 11 pipers piping, 10 lords a-leaping, 9 ladies dancing, 8 maids a-milking, 7 swans a-swimming, 6 geese a-laying, 5 gold rings, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtledoves and a partridge in a pear tree and all you got them…
— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) December 13, 2025
9.
The excitement some people have for seeing other people's Spotify Wrapped is what I feel when I see team photos from other folk's Christmas works lunches. 'Omg you've got an old guy your team too, that's class'
— Ross Sayers (@Sayers33) December 12, 2025
10.
This year’s Trafalgar Square Christmas Tree is a disgrace!
Are we even a Christian country anymore? pic.twitter.com/QkAGhP0Fms— Florence Lox (@floboflo) December 10, 2025
11.
As she was reading aloud to children, Melania asked, "After Santa dies and Mrs. Claus inherits the North Pole, does she remarry?" pic.twitter.com/wrcAanRo0c
— Paul Rudnick (@PaulRudnickNY) December 7, 2025
12.
Still the best parody of 'A Christmas Carol' pic.twitter.com/EewaIje10B
— Classical Studies Memes (@CSMFHT) December 11, 2025
13.
sleigh bells ring, are you listening
my kids: nope
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 5, 2025
14.
Hi, ER Doc here.
I don’t know who needs to hear this
but do NOT even think about it. pic.twitter.com/hwZu60jA5b— Sam Ghali, M.D. (@EM_RESUS) December 15, 2025
15.
We just had a work Christmas lunch wearing Santa hats, novelty glasses and elf ears and now we’re all expected to come back to the office and work like nothing happened?? I’m sorry but this is deranged.
— Vit (@vitt2tsnoc) December 11, 2025
16.
I'm not saying I don't have much face-to-face contact with my neighbours much but when I send them Christmas cards I sign it with my Wi-Fi network name.
— Craig Deeley ️ (@craiguito) December 13, 2025