31 Christmas tweets to get you into the spirit of the season – or send your Bah! Humbug! levels through the roof
17.
Siiiimmmppllyyy…Havvviinnggg……a pic.twitter.com/FjH6Vmaz23
— kramerica industries (@hepimp) December 9, 2025
18.
Away in a Manger is my favorite song about sleeping.
— krista (@kristabellerina) December 12, 2025
19.
“That was They’ve Cancelled Christmas by The Usual Suspects.” pic.twitter.com/Fbf53y4Vzr
— Mark Hammond (@MarkHam80780803) November 17, 2025
20.
My son dazzles beneath the spotlight in his angel Gabriel outfit. He takes a deep breath & begins his #soliloquy, eyes wide with #wonder.
I run onto the stage & grab his hand. “Alex, you’re 45 years old! Sit back down & let the children do their nativity!” #vss365 #vsschristmas pic.twitter.com/efKHiVhCCH
— Dr Natalie Reilly-Johnson (@nreillyjohnson) December 8, 2025
21.
These 3-bird roasts are very reasonably priced, considering how rare it is to find a turkey that's eaten a pheasant that's eaten a chicken.
— Craig Deeley ️ (@craiguito) December 11, 2025
22.
It's beginning to look a lot like an early Christian appropriation of a pagan winter solstice festival.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) December 13, 2025
23.
Mrs Brown's Boys, Christmas Day at 10.15. pic.twitter.com/xQdvTOhKfo
— Julie D Irwin (@JDIrwinbooks) December 14, 2025
24.
No one:
My husband, who does not hunt or fish: apparently Tractor Supply sells spears if you need a Christmas gift idea for me
— meghan (@deloisivete) November 28, 2025
25.
A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19.. you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table and not on the floor
— Fuckin’ Princess (@8WithaTiara) December 14, 2025
26.
If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people
— Ghostface Kryllah (@kryzazzy) December 13, 2025
27.
"Are we nearly there yet?
I’m hungry.
How much further?
I need the toilet.
Do you want to play I-spy?
Can I smell the frankincense again?
I’m really tired.
Shall I sing another song?
ARE WE NEARLY THERE YET?"– 4th wise man, whose body was never found.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) December 15, 2025
28.
Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of quit emailing me so much before Christmas
— meghan (@deloisivete) December 17, 2025
29.
I get it Christmas cactus, I also bloom when I’ve been brought out of a dark place.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) December 15, 2025
30.
Having a Goodfellas Christmas (so wildly irresponsible with money and purchases that someone has to kill me)
— Ben Crew (@BenjaminCrew1) November 30, 2025
31.
NEW POLICY ANNOUNCEMENT
All Evri executives to have their Christmas presents delivered by Evri, to see how they like it.
Love Christmas. Vote Binface.
— Count Binface (@CountBinface) December 3, 2025
And finally …
The three spirits that will visit me on Christmas eve are Vodka, Gin and Whiskey.
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) December 8, 2025
Relatable?
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