‘What’s the worst Secret Santa gift you’ve received?’ – 23 pathetic, petty or passive aggressive presents

Why do we bother with Secret Santa? At best you’ll end up with some tat that goes straight into a charity shop and at worst you’ll be given a carefully thought out gift specifically designed to offend you in the worst possible way.

They’ve been discussing gift-receiving disasters on the AskUK subreddit after MisterWednesday6 posted about their own experience…

What’s the most disappointing Christmas/Secret Santa gift you’ve ever received?

Asking after I attended a Christmas party today organised by a craft group I attend every week. The members have all attended since the group was set up several years ago, and by this time we all know each other’s likes and dislikes.

So after the food and drink had been consumed, everyone was presented with their gifts by the group leader, and while everybody else got large festively decorated carrier bags containing craft kits, huge boxes of chocolates and the like, yours truly got a paper bag the size of a quarter of sweets containing a poorly knitted washcloth and two finger size pieces of soap. I can’t even donate this to a charity shop, because the soap isn’t wrapped and they won’t accept it.

What hacks me off is that, contrary to all the time most of us clearly put in to selecting a gift our recipient would like, no thought went into what I received. Anyone else had a similar experience?

And it turns out that, yes, many many people have received Secret Santa gifts that less them feeling less than festive, to say the least.

1.

‘A ‘calendar of depression’. Like every day had a new depressing and demotivational quote designed to crush your soul and will to live. Thanks Jen you bitch.’
–thehealingprocess

2.

‘A self help book on ‘changing my attitude’.

I was 18, in my first full time job and had been battling illness for four months that would frequently see me faint at work and caused me to lose a dangerous amount of weight. I kept going into work despite needing to recuperate (I was eventually referred to a specialist and signed off for three weeks to recover), but apparently I just needed to ‘change my attitude’.’
–ChelseaMourning

3.

‘Not getting a gift at all. Everyone else was given a gift but the person who had me decided to wait until the gift exchange (and they’d received their gift) to say they didn’t want to partake so I was left sitting like a bit of a mug.’
–zoobatron__

4.

‘I just broke up with my partner of several years and someone Secret Santa’d me a Findus microwave meal for one. I saw the funny side though.’
–jessop-bentine

5.

‘Many years ago I received a tanning set as my secret Santa gift from work. It was a strange choice for me as I’m very pale, and I sort of lean into it, so I go for more pale peaches and pinks, my eyes are green and generally I embrace my colour scheme.

I certainly have never used, or indicated I wanted to use, fake tan. I’m guessing either I got a regift or someone was not-so-subtly telling me that I should go up a shade or two in the foundation department.

Either way, it went in the bin and 15 years later I am still as pale as a 16th century, consumption-riddled aristocrat who was once bitten by a vampire.’
–Silhouette_Sneezes

6.

‘I got a “selfie” photo book which you can print and add selfies with different prompts. Think ‘A pic with my best mates!’ or ‘A snap of my furry friends!’

Harmless enough, but the person who gave it to me had completed the book already, with their own selfies. WILD.’
–ohelloitspip

7.

”A group of school friends used to do a secret Santa every year. One year, a mate spent the £10 limit in a charity shop and bought around 40-50 VHS tapes. He wrapped them individually and filled a bin liner with them. When our mate turned up, he gave him the first tape, then continued to give another every 5 minutes for the rest of the night. Incredible commitment to the bit.’
–Boulderfist_CH

8.

‘At our office secret Santa one of my colleagues received a whole stack of beautifully individually wrapped DVDs. All expensive wrapping paper and elaborate bows. He started opening them and it was a selection of the worst comedy sets you could imagine; Roy Chubby Brown, Ken Dodd, Bernard Manning etc etc. I still admire the effort put in for a joke gift.’
–tres-bon-oeuf

9.

‘Every year I buy my boss a Dogs Pooping in Beautiful Places calendar. We have a work dog that shits everywhere. Great talking point with the customers (the calendar I mean).’
–Agitated-Handle-7750

10.

‘I have the reputation as a chatter box. Fine whatever. I got a muzzle as a Secret Santa present. I’ve never taken part in a Secret Santa again.’
–Yaseuk

11.

‘I got a porn parody of my favourite book, from someone I’d spent quite a bit of money on.’
–RuthTheAmazon

12.

‘A pair of toddler sized tights. I was an average sized adult when I received these.’
–Outraged_Chihuahua