Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
It’s the second week of January, yet a glance at the news makes it feel as though 2026 has been here for months. While we have no magic wand to make the bleak news any better, or a magic money tree to pay to escape it, we can give you a few laughs for the next couple of minutes.
If you spot a new account you like, show them some love.
1.
Me when I'm told a parcel is coming by Evri #TheTraitors pic.twitter.com/DHOJDeNRT5
— Jono Read (@jonoread) January 4, 2026
2.
Y’all ever been catfished by a parking spot?
Go to pull in and boom there’s a Fiat 500
— Stelynn (@Lifeofstelynn) January 3, 2026
3.
Me at a wine tasting: “yeah it tastes like wine”
— Definitely Nick (@other_st_nick) January 4, 2026
4.
brain: hey
me:
brain: doing the washing up are you
me: well yeah you can see that
brain: hey remember Will Gompertz, the BBC's arts critic from 2009 to 2021
me: what? why
brain: literally zero reason. anyway bye
— BRYN_BORANGA (@BRYN_BORANGA) January 4, 2026
5.
“jesus died for your sins” low key embarrassing. imagine dying because i ate a whole can of pringles in one sitting
— trash jones (@jzux) January 5, 2026
6.
If Microsoft Edge is brave enough to ask to be
your default browser, you can be brave enough to ask that girl out.— Wise (@trikcode) January 4, 2026
7.
sure the future turned out to be stupid and horrible beyond my wildest imagination but on the bright side I can answer my calls with my watch like a Spy Kid
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) January 4, 2026
8.
My mom is a prosecutor and every year she brings up the fact that Mother's Day is the day with the lowest crime.
I think that says a lot about how many moms commit crimes throughout the year, but can't that day because they're too busy being celebrated.
— sirhighbreed (@sirhighbreed) January 6, 2026
9.
Why do parents only announce their baby’s weight when it’s born?
You never hear them say……..
Happy 30th birthday Steve, 18 stone, aren’t you a big boy now.
— Dave † (@daveguitarjones) January 4, 2026
10.
Remember pen pals?
Basically tweeting, but it took a month and your mum read it.
— Tashy McTashface (@TashP351) January 6, 2026
11.
Applied for a new bank account but the ID verification part glitched and loaded my phone camera with a fish eye lens so there was no way my face could fit the oval unless it was like this pic.twitter.com/L7IimsZX2i
— jacques (@flamencolambada) January 7, 2026
12.
The 5 elements if I was Captain Planet: pic.twitter.com/Re8NW5JF03
— Zack Bornstein (@ZackBornstein) January 7, 2026