Pam Bondi’s mind-boggling deflection from the Epstein Files had people wondering what they can get away with by citing the Dow – 21 Bondiesque excuses
12.
Just got pulled over with an illegal firearm and a kilo of blow but told the officer the DOW was at 50,000 and he let me off
— gino.eth 💽 (@GinoTheGhost) February 12, 2026
13.
Jodi: “did you really just leave town with the kitchen a mess and now we are out of dog food?”
Me: “The Dow is over 50,000!” pic.twitter.com/PmjEZYiB0w
— Paul Mitchell (@paulmitche11) February 12, 2026
14.
I asked my nephew why he was harassing his sister, drinking whiskey, and not studying for his SATs
He said, “can’t you see that the Dow is at 50,000???” pic.twitter.com/yDQsgjX5BW
— Special Situations 🌐 Research Newsletter (Jay) (@SpecialSitsNews) February 12, 2026
15.
i went to the doctor today. he looked concerned. he said my cholesterol numbers were still a little high
i was furious at the question. so i looked him in the eye and screamed as loudly as i could:
"The Dow is over 50,000 right now. The S&P at almost 7,000… That's what we…
— DCinvestor (@DCinvestor) February 11, 2026
16.
As I was leaving work today, Timmy from Accounting attempted to confront me over “questionable” purchases I’d made with my company gas card (lotto scratch offs)
I told him to shut the fuck up and pay those expenses because the Dow is over 50,000
I received at standing ovation
— Three Year Letterman (@3YearLetterman) February 12, 2026
17.
🤷♀️: “You cheated on me with my sister”
🤷♂️: “But babe, the Dow’s over $50,000!”
— ADAM (@AdameMedia) February 11, 2026
18.
[Interrogation Room]
Detective: Why did you stab her 42 times?
Me: The Dow is over 50,000 right now! The S&P's at almost 7,000, and the Nasdaq is smashing records. THAT'S what we should be talking about! pic.twitter.com/797T0xhsK9
— Rudy Havenstein, Senior Markets Commentator. (@RudyHavenstein) February 12, 2026
19.
My job: You no-called no-showed three out of five days this week?
Me: The DOW is over $50,000!
— Bugman Hegel (@FedPoasting) February 11, 2026
20.
“What’s that Skippy, a boy is trapped down the well but it doesn’t matter because the Dow’s over 50,000?” pic.twitter.com/GaezQd41Nw
— Mark Hammond (@MarkHam80780803) February 12, 2026
21.
Interviewer: Can you explain this gap on your resume?
Me: I explain it in my cover letter.
Interviewer: It says the Dow is over 50,000.
Me: Correct.
Interviewer: When can you start?
— Adam Karpiak (@Adam_Karpiak) February 12, 2026
Perhaps Congress should call her back in.
GREAT News Patriots!
The DOW has just dropped under 50,000. We can now ask Pam Bondi about Jeffrey Epstein. pic.twitter.com/TDavtif7sX
— Brian Krassenstein (@krassenstein) February 12, 2026
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