Al Murray’s fabulous old Spanish phrase book with ‘magnificently low expectations of Spain’ is just wonderful

In the days before Google Translate and DuoLingo, visitors to foreign countries had to rely on a good old-fashioned phrase book to help them converse with any natives who were too lazy to have learned English.

And now, comedian Al Murray has unearthed a 1960s-era example of Collins Spanish Phrase Book which certainly fits the ‘old-fashioned’ label with its examples of phrases and questions which were deemed appropriate for everyday use for a visitor to Spain at the time.

It’s astonishing and hilarious.

Let’s have a look.

Found this phrase book which has magnificently low expectations of Spain pic.twitter.com/bFX4b4KIpt

— Al Murray 🇺🇦 (@almurray) February 19, 2026

And a quick zoom in…

¡Dios mío! indeed.

It prompted some great replies.

1.

Was it written by Terry Thomas?

— Andy (@AndyAitcheson) February 19, 2026

2.

I once had a Greek guide book which included “I think my friend has Yellow Fever” among its useful phrases.

— Ian Smart (@ianssmart) February 19, 2026

3.

On the back page I expect it says “If all else fails simply wave your British passport around until the natives fall into line”

— Jolyon Brown (@Eddie_Catflap) February 19, 2026

4.

I like this little part of the conversation 😅 pic.twitter.com/uWEGRhSfXb

— Sylvia 🌻 (@melodymakernz) February 19, 2026

5.

I love ‘He is a rake’

— Stefano (@stritenata) February 19, 2026

6.

I reckon you could live most of you life just using those phrases – tho’ you may get cancelled once or twice.

— Meyrick Chapman (@meyrickc) February 19, 2026

7.

Bearing in mind it’s written for a British audience I think it says a lot about us!!

— Ian Day (@id280655) February 20, 2026

8.

I used to love reading one we had as kids in the 80’s for the most obscure stuff. Like “this meringue has a rubbery texture”, “waiter, this fly in my soup is raw”.

Or filth.

Always looking for the swear words and rudeys.

— A_thankless_task (@AThankless) February 19, 2026

9.

I love the idea of simply exclaiming “Jesus!!” Every time someone sneezes. 😄

— Pavlovs Tortoise (@PavlovsTortoise) February 19, 2026