Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
I haven't gone to the bathroom alone since I got a cat but he comes in like he's Jack Nicholson in The Shining so I have to give him credit for style
— Ⓜ️isterD (@MisterD78UK) February 24, 2026
14.
“Mountain Dew” is such a beautiful name for something that’s two steps away from being classified as battery acid
— flurgley (@flurgley) February 20, 2026
15.
me: saving private ryan, schindler’s list & raiders of the lost ark are all part of the world war 2 universe.
the priest in the confessional: {getting out his checkbook} okay, how much is it going to take to get you to stop coming here?— Sunshine Jarboly (@SunshineJarboly) February 24, 2026
16.
If you ever go for a job interview at a library, don't answer any of the questions. They're trying to trick you into talking in the library.
— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) February 21, 2026
17.
All this needed was a spelling error to be the most Guardian thing ever. pic.twitter.com/HsmbFG23aB
— Michael Glasper (@MichaelCGlasper) February 22, 2026
18.
When British people say "the other day," it could be anytime between yesterday and birth.
— St. Luke☽☾ 📀 (@Rebel_Luke_) February 21, 2026
19.
A disgrace. How does he sleep at night after doing that? pic.twitter.com/yi76Z6Njv6
— Colm O'Regan (@colmoregan) February 24, 2026
20.
It’s not truly a junk drawer until you have a bag of rubber bands, instructions for things you no longer own, a half-used tube of dried-out super glue, pens with questionable utility, and at least five likely dead AA batteries.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) February 24, 2026
21.
Don't trust this guy with any secrets pic.twitter.com/LOVLc4Oh6c
— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) February 21, 2026
22.
came across the word ‘stot’ in a book & didn’t know what it meant so i looked it up and the definition said ‘another word for pronk.’ am i having a stroke?
— robyn 👼 (@apocryphaI) February 23, 2026
23.
Why is it “o’clock”? Why are hours Irish?
— Seth Vargas (@ohsethy) February 24, 2026
24.
what if i donate my body to science and they go like "wow, we can’t use this"
— ravn (@mfnravn) February 23, 2026
25.
going to start sending these out to people without any context. nothing inside, no return address pic.twitter.com/I8GLPg2vnW
— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny) February 25, 2026
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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