Somebody asked if people had ‘ever made up stuff just because’ in group situations – 21 deliciously tall tales

If your work life features a lot of tedious meetings, inductions and ice breaker games, you’ll know that making introductory small talk about yourself can get very dull indeed. But have you ever considered just… lying?

They’ve been chatting about this on the AskUK subreddit after user eastkent posted about their own revelation…

I just realised that you don’t need to tell the truth in situations like group interviews, meetings, new job inductions, etc. Have you ever made stuff up just because?

What did you make up? If a person in charge of one of those awful get-to-know-everyone things ever asks me my name and something about me again I’m just going to make up something outrageous.

And, yes, some people have been telling some wonderful porkies, as the replies showed…

1.

‘I told a girl at a party that I work for Ferrari designing square wheels for rich people so they can drive their cars upstairs inside their houses. She didn’t even blink, accepted it completely. My girlfriend told her the truth later and she was apparently quite angry I lied to her!’
–hhfugrr3

2.

‘I’d been in a new job for about three days when I was on some training course with my new boss, and we went round the room saying our proudest moment. Mine was going to be how I’d recently completed my tenth marathon, and in a pretty decent time. But my boss went immediately before me, and hers was how she’d just completed her first half marathon in a time almost as long as it had taken me to run twice as far.

Not wanting to look like I was belittling her achievement, the first thing that came to my head as an alternative was the fictional tale of how I’d saved Danny DeVito’s dog from getting run over when it slipped its collar and was about to sprint in front of a truck. I spent most of the next couple of weeks having to retell the story to every new person I met to at the company, as I was always introduced to them with “this is X, the new Y. Did you know he once saved Danny DeVito’s dog?!”‘
–MrPogoUK

3.

‘I’m 6’3″, so taller in boots. I told a very irritating bloke who was, for some reason, obsessed with being 6 feet tall that I was 6 foot exactly. I just kept insisting that I was 6 feet tall so he was 5’9″ at most. I thought it was going to fight me, that’s how much it was upsetting him. The girls he was trying to impress were agreeing that he was much shorter than me so he couldn’t be 6 feet tall.’
–spaceshipcommander

4.

‘I have a friend who does this. He’s 6”1 and gaslights every man he meets by insisting he’s 5”11. It absolutely drives men mad and he’s a king for it.’
–curry_in_my_beard

5.

‘Got a job at a supermarket years ago. Told them I had a wee boy who I only got at the weekends. Every time I was hungover: up late with the wean. Last minute T in the Park tickets? His mum’s away to Malaga.

Just had my pal bring her boy in once every couple of months to keep it going for three years. Magic.’
–MoblandJordan

6.

‘That I’d been on set while they filmed Three Men and a Little Lady and I got to make the sound effects for nearly all the different footsteps. It was born of irritation as being asked to supply ‘something interesting’ about myself on demand.

It’s now my go-to in all similar situations. Complete fabrication.’
–cold_tap_hot_brew

7.

‘I once told a group I was an extra in Harry Potter. One announced they remembered me from a particular scene.’
–Wits_end_24

8.

‘On our training courses, the trainers always start with ‘give me a fact about yourself’ without fail, mine is I was in So Solid Crew but don’t like talking about that period of my life.

I’m a (slightly) overweight bald white man, very much not what So Solid Crew were known for back in the day.’
–greeneyboy123

9.

‘I tend to make up my job with people I’ll never meet again. So far I’ve been a sand examiner for the RNLI, a helicopter skid repairman, a weasel tamer and a stuntman for Antiques Roadshow.’
–DonBenson

10.

‘Once in an ice breaker session I told everyone the completely made up fact that I used to play bass guitar in a heavy metal band named Ex Nihilo. I had just seen the Latin phrase (meaning ‘out of nothing’) in a book I was reading on the train and I thought it would make a cool name for a band. Maybe one day I’ll learn to play bass and start a band to undo the lie.’
–UnnecessaryRoughness

11.

‘Reminds me of when I was in primary school and the teacher was going round the class asking us about our pets. I never had any, but everyone else in the class seemed to, so when it got to me I didn’t feel I could admit that. I had to think of something quick, I had a little fluffy toy sheep so I said a sheep. The teacher became extremely interested, and asked if I lived on a farm. Realising there was no going back now, I could only say yes, and the teacher wrote to my parents asking if the class could visit our farm!’
–Ergophobe470

12.

‘My name is Anastasia Beaverhousen, Anastasia as in the Russian princess, Beaverhousen as in where the beavers live.

Stolen from Will and Grace and I’m clearly a big old man, I introduce myself this way and don’t give my real name until people are really desperate to know. Most take it in good humour.’
–srm79