Brits have been sharing the best nicknames they’ve ever heard and these 27 are all from the very top drawer
Here’s a rather fabulous thing that started when @ColeFusionHQ asked about the best nicknames people have ever heard.
Specifically what they called the ‘unregulated industry of British nicknames’ (we like it).
British nicknames are an unregulated industry. a 5’6 tradesman called Anthony is professionally known as Shetland Tony. a man who lost an eye is called Keth. a quiet man wore a yellow jumper once and became
Mumblebee.what’s the best nickname you’ve ever heard
— MaxC (@ColeFusionHQ) March 25, 2026
The answers came flooding in and these are all from the very top drawer.
1.
An electrican who looked like Elton John so was called Socket Man.
— Björn Fri (@bjornfri2020) March 25, 2026
2.
One of the lads that works for me is nicknamed “minty” because he always gets to work after 8
— Suffolkcountrydad (@INOV8_James) March 25, 2026
3.
A bloke who lost part of his left ear – Known as ‘18 months’ (ear and a half)…
— ℝ (@The_East_End) March 25, 2026
4.
Steve the Shorts. Because he once came to the pub in shorts when we were all about 19.
We are now in our middle 50s.
— Bliþe Spyryte (@Sorley___) March 25, 2026
5.
The best ever was the Scottish school janitor who was somewhat diminutive in stature. The kids called him ‘Janny Devito’.
— Robert Elliott (@Robell74) March 25, 2026
6.
Bloke that used to walk with a limp that made him throw his right leg out was ‘Kickstart’
— Jan (@Janjamin_) March 25, 2026
7.
Our production manager is only 5ft and has short blonde hair. She’s a lovely lady. Her nickname is Midget Neilson
— Bear_Size ⚫️⚪️ (@Bear_Size) March 25, 2026
8.
Once had a manager called Gary who was nicknamed GSpot as he was difficult to find.
— scott mclean (@scott_mclean_73) March 25, 2026
9.
A chap I used to work with had a woggle eye and was nicknamed ‘Mortgage’ because one eye was fixed and the other was variable.
— Lord Glenmore (@LordJamesEden) March 25, 2026
10.
Guy at my dads place was absolutely useless, they used to call him bungalow because he had nothing upstairs
— MissJDodger (@jammy_thedodger) March 25, 2026
11.
Seaweed, floats around, doesn’t do much
— Peter Mackness (@PeterMackness) March 25, 2026
12.
Old place I worked had a guy named “Pothole” as everyone tried to avoid him.
— Andy Tulloch (@DamdVI) March 25, 2026
13.
Motion Sensor. Only works when someone comes close
— (@PaddyHutton) March 25, 2026