Brits have been sharing the best nicknames they’ve ever heard and these are all from the very top drawer
14.
We had a bloke we called Geldof..He didn’t do mondays
— paul bush (@lordyfan) March 25, 2026
15.
Went to school with a lad who’s been known as Sport Billy since 1985 because he once brought in his P.E. kit in a proper sports bag and not a carrier bag like the rest of us. Another bloke is still called Vicky (as in Vicky the Viking) because he used to wipe his nose a lot https://t.co/B0oHxkZmCM
— Shambo of Luxembourg (@BradfemlyWalsh) March 25, 2026
16.
We call a customer Paddington, because when he first came in he had a little coat on that looked like Paddington Bears.
We can another one Shoes, because once her shoes exploded on our carpet and it took us an hour to clear up. https://t.co/DsjrL3cuR7
— Tashy McTashface (@TashP351) March 25, 2026
17.
Just remembered that a lad in the year above me is still called Jammo because he said no when someone’s mum asked him if he wanted some jam when she made the kids some toast. If you get why it’s so funny, we can be friends https://t.co/B0oHxkZmCM
— Shambo of Luxembourg (@BradfemlyWalsh) March 25, 2026
18.
Two dads because he has a double barrelled surname gets me every time. https://t.co/PGpRVAyyxl
— Slarty Bartfast (@Poppy_yyyyyyyy) March 25, 2026
19.
Drill bit – he was a small, boring tool.
Thrush – you know the rest!
Olympic torch – he never went out.
Gurkha – never took any prisoners.
Coleslaw – the bloke was a complete cabbage. https://t.co/Bpunwi10vk
— Gareth Williams. (@history99917180) March 25, 2026
20.
Was very surprised to meet “One-Legged Paul” who in fact had both legs and was called that because he accidentally cut three legs off a chair he was refurbishing https://t.co/3tcXoFytUg
— Madelaine Hanson (@MadelaineLucyH) March 25, 2026
21.
In our UG accommodation block there was a flat inhabited by four lads called Dave. Dave 1 (arrived first) Dave 2 (arrived second) Tesco Dave (had a part time job at Tesco) and Shit Dave (by his own admission had no redeeming features). They were referred to as such for four years https://t.co/bsGUONamdr
— Professor Pingosaurus (@Pingosaurus) March 25, 2026
22.
I worked with a lad named Carl who was always calling in sick. People kept asking ‘Is Carl off?’ so he earned the nickname Boris. https://t.co/kkXmgju3ov
— Michael Sellars | Horror Writer (@HorrorPaperback) March 25, 2026
23.
A guy who left work every day at 5.01pm called Levis
— Richard Frankel (@rdf64) March 25, 2026
24.
We had a bloke called isiah . He had strange eyes. One set severely higher than the other. His name was michael. But everyone called him isiah because one eye was higher than the other. Poor bugger.
— Simon S pembroke (@megawolverine) March 25, 2026
25.
Heard about a bloke who dressed like Ryan Gosling in Drive but didn’t have a car and everyone called him Walk
— mover and shaker (@papashem) March 25, 2026
26.
that Mortimer story about the bloke with a big head they called “sniper’s dream”
— ghost sprotocol (@AhYeOkayNah) March 25, 2026
27.
I knew a Guy called Jakinder singh, his nickname was Jakinder Surprise. https://t.co/fbGUsKFSUG
— Scott Pert (@Scott_Pert) March 25, 2026
And of course, the all time classic …
A guy called Wayne Bruce who was nicknamed Manbat https://t.co/tJXPubacNM
— Count Mysterioso️ (@MysteriosoX) March 25, 2026
To conclude …
This thread is just the perfect antidote to all the venom on here at the moment. https://t.co/ZFgGGjQopN
— Spirited1 (@helen_spirit1) March 25, 2026
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Source @ColeFusionHQ