A rubbish band’s tale of how they got a 5-star review was already good but James Blunt took it to the next level
Not the first time we’ve featured James Blunt on these pages, obviously, and it won’t be the last. But this one is especially good.
It started when someone confessed on the always followable @fesshole Twitter account about the lengths their band’s manager went to get them a five-star review.
The band I was in 20 years ago got a 5-star review in a music mag. The fess is that the editor was bribed by our manager with a massive bag of coke, and the album was utter dogshit. And frankly so were we.
— Fesshole🧻 (@fesshole) July 23, 2026
And it prompted no end of A++ replies …
Having been a writer for a music mag 20 years ago, I can say this fess could have been made by any band about any album. We got bribed with bags of coke regardless of the album.
Best days of my life.
— The Walking Beard (@BeardWalking) July 23, 2026
Glad you got that off your chest at last, Pete Doherty.
— Purves Grundy (@A6477028521112) July 23, 2026
Given the low quality of albums in 2006, there's a lot of people this could be
— thirdman (@thirdmanuk) July 23, 2026
Noel is that you? 😏
— Barry Chambers (@chemalino) July 23, 2026
The has gotta be the bass player from Jet
— Crypto_zoologist Ⓥ (@Cryptozoologis7) July 23, 2026
… but none better than Blunt, obviously.
Imagine what my manager had to do. https://t.co/KOOHFOZKl6
— James Blunt (@JamesBlunt) July 23, 2026
Boom.
You should get an award for good-natured self-deprecation. I happened to really like your first album.
— Jon Machtynger (@synapticity) July 23, 2026
Twitter Legend pic.twitter.com/0yzCXNHHCL
— Simon Taylor (@simonjjtaylor) July 23, 2026
Along these lines? pic.twitter.com/21UsuooT00
— Rebecca Manderley (@Icing_on_a_Cake) July 23, 2026
I’m from the generation that cos you made a nice song that made ppl happy and emosh, you must surely be a prick. We believed that. And the fact that you were in the military made it worse. We were idiots. Young idiots. You were a sound lad and we lost out on the craic. Soz. x
— Niecy O'Keeffe (@NiecyOKeeffe) July 23, 2026
READ MORE
Follow @fesshole here! And buy the Fesshole book(s) here.