Someone asked about worst thing people had done at a work drinks – 21 proper jaw-droppers

Work culture is a ridiculous thing, isn’t it? Companies claim they want you to feel happy and comfortable in your workplace, but have one too many at a social and suddenly the boss in no longer your best friend and HR come down on you like a ton of bricks.

Over on the AskUK subreddit, they’ve been discussing the perils of enjoying yourself a bit too much in a semi-professional setting after pawsmcgraw asked this…

‘Please tell me the worst things you’ve done at work drinks.

‘I overdid it at works drinks last night and took things a bit too far. No one else was emotionally or physically harmed (only my dignity) and I have made the necessary apologies and have been reassured.

‘However, whilst the beer fear is getting to me I need to hear stories of others’ embarrassments that they managed to come back from to convince me I don’t need to hand my notice in before I have to face it again on Monday.’

Hey, we’ve all been there. And people were only too happy to get their own shameful stories off their chests. Check these out…

1.

‘Projectile vomited all over the table, my boss and into people’s drinks. Aged 28, they had to call my mum to pick me up.’
–nectarsurge

2.

‘Not me but a really quiet guy attended a cheese and wine night.Barely spoke 9-5 Monday to Friday, seemed like a Ned Flanders type

‘A glass of wine and my god he turned. A bottle of wine in and he was on a table with his chopper out and was waving it about like a windsock in a heavy gale.’
–KuntaWuKnicks

3.

‘That’s between me and Diane from Accounts Payable.’
–bodhidharma132001

4.

‘Had been off on maternity leave, works Xmas do was my first night out since having baby, hardly any sleep the night before hadn’t eaten anything all day, free bar.

‘Don’t remember anything of the evening, woke up in my hotel room in the superman position with my bandage dress stuck over my head, obviously was too drunk to remove said dress, lots of presents in my room, whats going on here, all fake presents!

Later found out I had stole them from under the main reception Christmas Tree in the Midland Hotel Manchester, I was removed from the party for being too drunk and abusing the concierge trying to curb my burglary spree. I had also told my boss to do one. The Beer Fear from that morning is a pain I can still feel now 20 years later, didn’t get fired anyway.’
–RachaelBlonde

5.

‘Showed my regional manager my Prince Albert. On the dance floor. Still there some 30 years later.’
–Incident-Putrid

6.

‘Found an ecstasy tablet in my jacket pocket. Flicked it up in the air and caught it in my mouth in front of everybody.’
–Old-Parfait8194

7.

‘During a conversation with the CEO about his festive jumper told him that he would look better out of it, followed by a wink, followed by the realisation that I was pissed as hell.

I then spent the rest of the evening avoiding him at all costs.’
–autumn_chicken

8.

‘Not me but a direct report at the Xmas party a few years ago. Pre-drank, trashed the lobby of the hall by tearing open the fake Christmas presents, threw them at security, called the CEO nasty for telling her off once and then sprayed the C-Suite and fellow senior managers with water before collapsing outside. Sure you’re fine!’
–chewitttttt

9.

‘Not sure if this counts but got a bit drunk and threw a chicken wing at someone. My mate said I’ve had a few too many and should go outside to chill so we went outside.

‘Unbeknownst to me this kick started a massive food fight where cakes were smashed against the wall, like big showstopper type cakes, someone smashed a cake over someone’s head. Food and drink went everywhere.

‘Someone even tried to flush a Xmas turkey down a toilet and destroyed the toilet. All whilst I was blissfully unaware outside getting some air.

‘First I heard about it was when I was hauled in front of HR the next day and asked to explain my self and I could only say that I got really drunk last night and got taken home in a taxi and I can’t remember anything about a food fight. £20k of damage caused from that one chicken wing.’
–key-bored-warrior

10.

‘Not me, but the guy who’s whole deal was how everyone more senior than him was lazy/useless, and everyone more junior than him was stupid. Decided to really put that point to words, after a few drinks.

‘Took most of it out on his manager, who nearly didn’t come, as his wife was going through some sort of life threatening condition. Wasn’t even that drunk.

‘He was really surprised everyone was making “such a big deal about it” in the following weeks. Really indignant about being fired over it.’
–worldworn

11.

‘Friend once got utterly wasted at a work drinks, ended up tagging along with a random group of people leaving the pub, got on the Eurostar with them, and woke up in Paris lying on someone’s front door step clutching a cheeseboard.’
–Sufficient-Guava-152

12.

‘Set fire to the table at the work Xmas do.’
–leb2353