People shared their most embarrassing moments at a GP surgery and these 22 tales will have you cringing all the way to A&E

Going to the doctor provokes a myriad of emotions, one of which, depending on your ailment, can be an enormous amount of awkwardness.

However, experiencing an extreme level of cringe in a medical setting is such a common experience that we can all comfort one another with similar war stories.

Which is what they’ve been doing on the AskUK subreddit after baumouse shared their own tale…

‘Have you ever had an embarrassing moment at the GP surgery?

‘If so, please share to help me feel better about this blunder. For context, I (30, F) have been to see my GP a lot recently due to various ailments (glandular fever, subluxed finger joints, a scratched eyeball) and so I was reluctant to go back because I didn’t want to give the impression I’m a hypochondriac.

‘However, I found a lump in one of my breasts and my husband made sure I went. I would have gone anyway, but the encouragement helped. As she was fondling my boob, I let out an anxious chuckle and said “I swear I’m not some nymphomaniac.”

‘I have no clue why I got the word hypochondriac and nymphomaniac mixed up, but I wanted the ground to swallow me up. What’s worse is I didn’t realise my mistake until after the appointment.

‘Ah well. May change surgeries.

Eek. But lots of people jumped in to help the share the weight of their mortification, like these…

1.

‘Was chilling out in the waiting room, dressed like a slob, waiting for an appointment. I was wearing my glasses. A nice young lady came and offered me an eye test, I said no. Got a whole spiel about how it was a free service they provide that day and I’d be done before my appointment.

‘Eventually I agree since I’m due one and hey, it’s my GP surgery. I go through to the optometrist. Takes a few minutes of questions to discover that it is not a free service they offer everyone, it is a free service they offer the homeless, which they assumed I was since there was also a homelessness clinic on at the surgery at the time I was waiting for my appointment.

‘Was awkward as fuck, them apologising for thinking I’m homeless. Me apologising for… idk, having a home? Letting it get that far?’
–Banes_Addiction

2.

‘Yep, years ago I was having abdominal issues and they said I needed a pelvic. When I got in the GP office they gave me a gown and I got changed and went through. The doctor said “please lie on your back and put your knees up”.

‘I think I was nervous and clearly didn’t understand the instructions, I don’t know what compelled me to go onto all fours on the table, doggy style. I’ve never misunderstood simple instructions like that before.’
–Commercial-Name-1853

3.

‘I went in and ended up getting rubber gloved by the doctor. Full cock, balls and arsehole out. Moments before penetration he asked if I wanted a chaperone. I turned back to face him and said “there’s no point in three of us being embarrassed”. No idea why I did it, and he didn’t even laugh.’
–Scrot123

4.

‘Not a GP but I had to have a medical at the occupational health clinic and they asked me to bring a urine sample. I was very young and inexperienced – I think it was my first job – and I didn’t know you could get a small sterile sample jar at your GP’s or a pharmacy. So I washed out a milk bottle and managed to fill it with a pint of piss, which I took on the bus in a carrier bag.

‘The look on that receptionist’s face when I tried to give it to her…’
–hdhxuxufxufufiffif

5.

‘A friend of mine panicked because he had blood in his poop, so made an appointment. He was not expecting the GP to perform a rectal exam there and then, but that’s what happened.

‘The doctor had to ask him to stop clenching so hard so that he could remove his finger. This caused an issue because my friend was unable to tell where the finger ended, and where a poop began – which resulted in him pinching off a 2 inch shit onto the floor of the GP’s office.

‘Apparently the most humiliating part of the whole ordeal was when the doctor had to wipe his bum for him, and then obviously pick up his poop from the floor.’
–cold_italian_pizza

6.

‘Not massively embarrassing but not great. It was in good old Covid times. Had to go for a smear test they weirdly blocked the atrium off with a large table and would only let you pass when you told them what you were there for when I am sure they could have just taken your name and looked!

‘So I strolled up the receptionist behind the protective table keeping that 2m distance. I’m sure they put the deafist receptionist on. She asked what I had come for I said a smear test. She didn’t hear me the first two times so the third time I said A SMEAR TEST! A guy going into the Co-op shop behind me shouts “You having your smear test duck?” I just put my thumb up and said “Yes mate”, he followed it up with “Good luck”.’ Cheers Covid.’
—psychopathic_shark

7.

‘Not GP but I see an occupational therapist for my disability and she said she needed to arrange to come to my house to do a bathing assessment. I started asking about the logistics, like do I need to be clothed and just show her how I get in and out the bath or shower, or does she need to see me in the water in which case should I wear my swimsuit and so on.

‘After a couple of minutes of my questions she quietly goes “I just need to come round and take some measurements of the bathtub for the shower stool and steps”.

‘To this day everyone in my life still dies with laughter at the idea of her turning up to my house and I’m in a full on bubble bath with candles, a rubber duckie etc.’
–PingvinPanda

8.

‘I found a lump in my breast during peak Covid summer. I went to the doctor to get it checked out and only afterwards did I realise I had forgotten to swap my prescription sunglasses for my normal glasses, so I had been wearing dark glasses and a face mask during the exam. I must have looked absolutely insane.’
–Chunklett

9.

‘When I had my hysterectomy, on the day of, the consultant asked me if I had any questions, I have no idea why but for some reason I said once my womb is gone can I get a squeaker there instead. She looked really puzzled and asked why, the nurse however was in hysterics.’
–guitargal75

10.

‘I was at the physio recently and was asked to give a number on the pain scale. I said I’m not very good with pain scales but I think there’s a pain scale that is supposed to be better for people with chronic pain (Mankoski pain scale, it has descriptors). Anyway, I very boldly said “I think it’s the Kinsey scale!”

‘The Kinsey scale is the sexual orientation scale.’
–Pixie_and_kitties

11.

‘I brought a urine sample to a midwife appt once in a little Sistema dressing pot. All fine. Except something possessed me to ask for it back once she’d tested it.’
–pemberleypearls

12.

‘When I went for my first Covid vaccination, the guy asked if there was any chance I was pregnant. I was like “Nope.” Asked what contraception I’m on, I said none, he’s like “How do you know you’re not pregnant then?” At that moment, the word ‘vasectomy’ completely left my brain so I told him my partner had been castrated.

‘At the time, I had 100+ guinea pigs and that’s the terminology we use in cavy circles, so I guess it was the most accessible word to me at the time.’
–Manathemana