Grand Designs is back and people have been busy guessing how this first episode will go – 14 funniest and most totally on-point
8.
Bryony’s grandfather invented the colour green on traffic lights and Matt runs an online business selling paint for roundabouts.
Their ambitious 800k project will incorporate a small nuclear powered greenhouse and a meat rendering plant.
— Stoo (@discostoo) September 16, 2026
9.
Matt knitted the roof in advance out of Shredded Wheat and Bryony sold a Nepalese candle for £4,350 to a woman named Superstanskii which paid for the downstairs toilets so they just made it. Phew.
— Jean Hatchet (@JeanHatchet) September 17, 2026
10.
“Despite having no project management or construction experience, Briony is confident she can manage a multimillion pound construction project with dozens of staff without pissing anybody off and ballooning the budget…”
— HenryTheNavigator (@DukeofViseu) September 17, 2026
11.
Bryony’s grandfather invented brunch, and Matt makes artisanal spam. They will eventually spend £7.3 million on their river powered high rise mill bungalow that creates free wind for the entire county.
— . (@panvalues) September 16, 2026
12.
When only 12 yrs old Matt wrote the hit Last Christmas for Wham and the continuing royalties from his song are paying for this house which will be entirely made from soy beans and Bryony’s special dried hummus.
Only a psychopath would want them to fail.— Tobes (@Toby_1979) September 16, 2026
13.
Spoiler alert: It’s not watertight by winter.
— Daniel Daniel (@huckleberrydan) September 16, 2026
14.
His dad owns the farmland they’re building on, she has a £75k office job and he is an architect. Yet they push through all those struggles and come up rosy.
— Fred (@the_supplement) September 16, 2026
And finally …
Time to dust this off and share it againhttps://t.co/IrmrKKhaKT
— Colin the Dachshund (@DachshundColin) September 16, 2026
We’re with this person.
It was suggested that I look at the comments, they have not disappointed me. They have restored my faith in Britain, keep it up.
— Nicked (@OrtonIsWatching) September 16, 2026
Source @granddesigns