‘Literally about three hours ago I had an 18 year old arguing with me across my bar about prices. She was adamant that “House Spirits” meant any spirit in the house, and I legally had to sell her premium stuff for £4 a double. I’ve only been working in pubs and clubs for 24 years so I could be wrong.’
–Ivelearnednuffink
14.
‘”This quail is really small.” When I said that it was a very normal size for a quail the customer then replied that she didn’t know what quail was when she’d ordered it, she just liked the sound of it on the menu. She then left a shitty comment on our Facebook page.’
–MisterKJ
15.
‘Wasn’t the customers but I once had to put a message on the staff group chat asking everyone to stop watering the fake plants in the bar.’
–Shoddy_Pilot_2737
16.
‘“The goats cheese pizza is too goats cheesy.’
This especially got to me because it came from someone who didn’t even order that pizza. They just tried a bit of someone else’s on the table, said other person was clearly embarrassed and shut down the complaint with “but you don’t like goats cheese anyway…”.’
–Strong-Librarian-OOK
17.
‘The time I was working at Wetherspoons and a wedding party show up wanting to have their reception on a busy Saturday night. They genuinely believed that we would move other paying customers out of the biggest area of the pub so they could have it to themselves. One of the dads tried to fight some students who refused to move. One of the mums screamed that we had ruined the wedding. The bride was crying. I was looking around for hidden cameras.
There was the other time on Boxing Day when an angry man came in and screamed at us that we had ruined Christmas. He brought his entire family to the pub on Christmas Day only to discover that we weren’t even open. We looked at the CCTV and there was like 16 people outside at noon trying every door several times and they were pounding on the windows.
There was also the time a customer grabbed my neck because we didn’t stock Dijon mustard.’
–soverytiiiired
18.
‘Gave a customer a half roast chicken.
“Oh I thought it was a whole chicken and only half was roasted.”
So you thought half of it was just hanging out the oven door? Did you want half of it raw?’
–greenfence12
19.
‘Had someone order a flat white then send it back because it had milk in.’
–qliphoth666
20.
‘Nothing beats someone wandering around and pointing at various tables and asking “Is this one free?”.
No, the big reservation sign is there for a reason. We need the table in 15 minutes, and I said that we’re fully booked for a reason.’
–JusticeForTheStarks
21.
‘Customer: Is you fish fresh?
Me: Yes, delivered fresh form the harbour this morning and we never keep for more than 24hrs
Customer: If it’s that fresh, how come it’s got bones in it?’
–kc2009ds
22.
‘A hen party once offered me £50 to do striptease for them. I was 14 years old.’
–EugeneHarke
23.
‘Calamari salad… this looks like squid. Well yes.’
–greenfence12
24.
‘Had a customer buy a bag of nuts, so I asked the usual “salted or dry roasted?”. He replied “salted”, so I gave him the bag and went back to my work. He then comes back to the bar and says “excuse me, I asked for salted nuts, but these say “savoury” on the packet”. This guy was fully a native English speaker and maybe in his mid to late 40s.’
–livnessmonster
