What corporate phrase means ‘we are going to exploit you’? – 17 sayings employees should be wary of

Offices are full of meaningless jargon that workers are forced to tolerate. If you’ve ever had to put a pin in some blue sky synergising, you’ll know what we mean.

And while most of these words are just tedious, some of them can be a warning that you’re being taken advantage of. To find out more, u/Equal_Loan_4141 put the following question to r/AskReddit:

‘What is a corporate phrase that immediately translates to “we are going to exploit you”?’

Here are the top replies to run up the flagpole…

1.

‘We’re a family.’
-Some_Belgian_Guy

2.

‘”We work hard, play hard” is a classic. It means you’ll do unendless unpaid overtime, but as a compensation you get to spend 2 unpaid hours a week at a cheap restaurant listening to the boss self-fellating about how great a job he’s doing. And, oh, they have a foosball or ping pong table in the other room. Just don’t use it, because it’s in direct line of sight to HR.

‘Thankfully it’s MOSTLY a dead trope these days, but trust me, it still exists. Maybe not always in the exact same words, but it never really dies. Kinda like Dracula.’
-West-Forever8365

3.

‘When I was teaching, every contract negotiation would include the phrase, “Think about the kids.” when I wanted more than they wanted to pay. Man, I’m thinking of my mortgage!’
-appleajh

4.

‘You don’t see it as much these days but the term “Rockstar” was code for “a person who works 80 hours a week that we only have to pay for 40.”‘
-Captain_Swing

5.

‘For all the kids out there: “Unlimited PTO” means “No PTO”.

‘If PTO is determined by if you get all of your work done, you’ll probably never get all of your work done.’
-TechnicalAd6932

6.

‘”We need someone who can wear multiple hats…”‘
-fog_mere_765

7.

‘”We have an open hierarchy.”

‘Meaning the older employees will just dump the shit jobs onto you, that they don’t want to do themselves, and no one feels responsible to enforce any rules for everyone.’
-MoonArtInk

8.

‘“We offer competitive wages”. Yeah, competitive with the bottom of the barrel.’
-Supersilverr

9.

‘”Dotted line authority”.

‘No. Just…no.

‘If you want me to manage someone, you need to make me a manager. And pay me as one. I need the institutional authority as a baseline, and I can supply the leadership skills ontop of it. But you want me to become a “defacto” manager and somehow still be able to manage someone I have no actual authority over? I was once told to become a “defacto” manager of two people, and I said “Make me an actual manager”..they refused. They tried to contextualize it as a “test” for a future management role.

‘Fuck you.

‘You want a manager, pay for one.

‘Asking people to act like a boss to people they are not the boss of is absurd, and a recipe for disaster.

‘I have walked out of interviews upon hearing “you’ll have dotted line authority”. The very consideration of that in an organization indicates they are exploitative.’
-ImprovementFar5054