Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
Congratulations! You’ve survived another week, in spite of the world’s best efforts. You’ve lived through an announcement that the UK is stockpiling food, medicines and blood – which isn’t even remotely terrifying – and Gary Lineker proving once again that he’s the Leader of the Opposition. As you sit there leaking sweat like Donald Trump’s legal team, enjoy these fruits of other people’s comedy labours.
1.
i can’t believe sharks get a week but sociopaths get a whole presidency
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 23, 2018
2.
https://twitter.com/petercrouch/status/1021114153103065088
3.
This toilet is clearly reserved for Tory Cabinet ministers. pic.twitter.com/8NCC1dCRKG
— Nathan Snakehips (@ndmckeown) July 23, 2018
4.
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July 26, 2018
5.
shark week is too commercialized, we've forgotten the true meaning of sharks
— Alien Skier (@ClichedOut) July 22, 2018
6.
someone on the radio comparing brexit to the millenium bug, difference being nothing happened in 2000 because of years of precise planning whereas in 2019 i'll be murdering you with a chair for a tin of beans
— Chris Boyd (@paperghost) July 23, 2018
7.
https://twitter.com/ST_1982/status/1021417686440562689
8.
Met office advises people to stay indoors as temperatures soar. Here are some household items that can help you beat the heat. #Heatwaveuk #heatwave pic.twitter.com/MMGS53DfUW
— Hopeless Surfer (@HopelessSurfer) July 24, 2018
9.
"I've just been doing some geometry"
"Euclidean?"
"No, I'm serious!"— MꙬse Allain (@MooseAllain) July 25, 2018
10.
Next year's Great British Bake Off, where contestants have to kill highly armed security guards outside fortified silos to access flour and sugar, should be the most exciting series yet.
— David Whitley (@mrdavidwhitley) July 25, 2018
11.
Can’t believe that guy who had the cameo in Home Alone 2 has had his Hollywood Walk of Fame star destroyed. It wasn’t THAT bad.
— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) July 25, 2018
12.
I’m not saying it’s hot in my flat but this just happened. #heatwave pic.twitter.com/lZcv74mD9I
— Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) July 25, 2018
