This dad tweets about bringing up 4 kids and it brilliantly captures the awful joy of parenting
Here’s a chap called James Breakwell who, besides being a comedy writer and web comic. designer, is also a dad to 4 kids.
Not only that, he shares the joy of parenting on his Twitter account and it’s very funny and instantly relatable to anyone who’s ever had a kid (or looked after one).
Here are some of the best, as highlighted by the good people of someecards.
1.
Me: We've taken 1,000 pics. We're never going to get all 4 kids smiling at once.
Wife: Fine. Just pick the best one pic.twitter.com/E7jDR5uGIm
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) March 27, 2016
2.
7-year-old: Why do they sell garages at garage sales?
Me: They don't
7: So it's a garage not-for-sale?
Oh, no. She inherited the dad gene
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) June 19, 2017
3.
5-year-old: Why are you always tired?
Me: Because you're always you.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) June 6, 2017
4.
5-year-old: Mom is the best at being smart.
Me: What am I the best at?
5: Making noises when you eat.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) May 29, 2017
5.
[playing the board game Guess Who]
Me: Is your person handsome?
5-year-old: No, they look like you.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2017
6.
[kids furiously scream at each other]
Me: Go play in separate rooms.
5-year-old: But we’re having fun.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) May 28, 2017
7.
5-year-old: What's puberty?
Me: It's when your body goes through changes.
5: Is that when I'll get my ice powers?
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) April 19, 2016
8.
Me: Take a bath.
5-year-old: Can't. I'm a fairy.
Me: Be a fairy in the tub.
5: I'M NOT A MERMAID!
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) June 10, 2017
9.
3-year-old daughter: A boy at daycare said he likes me.
Me: Do you like him back?
3: He colors outside the lines. He needs to grow up.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) April 15, 2016
10.
5-year-old: *scream of primal rage*
Me: What's wrong?
5: My sock is too socky.
Me: I'll see what I can do.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) May 26, 2017
11.
Me: You forgot to brush your teeth. They're going to fall out.
5-year-old: That's the point.
That tooth fairy story backfired.
— "Bare Minimum Parenting" in bookstores now (@XplodingUnicorn) April 14, 2016
