These ferociously straight-talking wedding rules went viral and everyone made the same point (NSFW)

Poke Staff. Updated August 12th, 2021

It’s not enough just to send a wedding invite these days. There’s the ‘save the date’ card, obviously, and also – by all accounts – a list of ‘wedding rules’ which guests are expected to abide by.

And these particular wedding rules went viral on Reddit because they are very straight talking indeed.

‘My cousin sent this along with her wedding invitations I will not be in attendance,’ said Redditor ScaredNapkin.

And it’s fair to say it rubbed nearly everyone up the wrong way.

‘That’s one aggressive invitation.’
Ekaterina702

‘I get it’s supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek kinda joke.. but my god tone is important! “Check your child at the door” or “you know we get good food, dont worry about it” would be kinda funny. This is just mean spirited.’
Hita-san-chan

‘This fake edgy crap isn’t even funny it makes you look like a fifth grader who is trying too hard to look cool in front of a bunch of older kids.’
MermaiderMissy

But there was one thing about it that people found particularly irksome.

‘Every other point in this card: Fuck you, fuck off, fuck this, shit shit shit. Wedding gifts: ~maybe some money to go to our honeymoon~ uwu 🥺👉👈’
UniCornOnACob819

‘One can’t help but notice the abrupt change of tone in the ‘wedding gifts’ section.’
creditnewb123

‘Yeah, should have gone with “We’re having a luxury honeymoon, so cough up the cash, fuckers.”
WaytoomanyUIDs

‘They didn’t ask money, just contribution. A pack of condoms will do.’
Livingeachdayatedge

Someone drafted this entirely appropriate reply.

‘Dear Cousin: I disrespectfully decline to attend your trashy shit show. I don’t fucking feel like leaving the house to watch you get fucked up and shit to celebrate your Eternal Bondage.

‘So instead I will be parking my fat ass on my comfy couch with some frozen pizza, and binge watching Drunk Duck Hunters From Florida Say Some Shit They Think Is Funny. I figure it will be about the equivalent experience.

‘Love, Your Cousin, the Fat Fuck’
IdlesAtCranky

Source Reddit u/ScaredNapkin