Our 25 favourite funny tweets of the week
Welcome to the first round-up of funny tweets of 2022. Your nose is probably back at the grindstone, you may or may not have remembered the first bin collection, but the year doesn’t properly start until you check this lot out.
1.
Is it "bell end", "bellend" or "bell-end"?
For a headstone. So need to get it right.
— Dan Fox (@d4nf0x) January 4, 2022
2.
"I wish to complain about this cyber-parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique." pic.twitter.com/LJuD1lxOsZ
— Simon Threadgold (@dimwittedly) January 2, 2022
3.
goldilocks was so stupid for not wanting to sleep in a bed too big for her. oh nooo i’m tooo comfy!! shut up
— Cat Elgarrista (@cat_elg) January 3, 2022
4.
Yesterday I overheard my little niece saying to herself, "I can't have that job when I grow up because I want to be a mummy and have children." I set my phone aside for a serious talk about how she could do any job she wanted AND have children. Friends, the job was nun.
— Melinda Taub (@MelindaTaub) January 2, 2022
5.
if you are what you eat, my dog is my favourite pair of shoes
— 🇨🇦🍁SueCorvette 🍁🇨🇦 (@suecorvette) January 7, 2022
6.
Is there an out of office for “Ok yes I’m back but still just fuck off anyway”?
— Shit Barrister (@shitbarrister) January 3, 2022
7.
This works. pic.twitter.com/GeJwGMcf3G
— Amanda Abbington (@CHIMPSINSOCKS) January 2, 2022
8.
Try the Keto diet and instantly notice how much lighter you feel without the will to live
— Shauna.. na (@ForgetTheMoose) January 6, 2022
9.
Unless you know what you're doing, it'd be very easy to make something like this look tacky. pic.twitter.com/m84VWwMd4r
— Brendan Dempsey (@brendempsey) January 2, 2022
10.
No one ever prepared me for how much of adulthood I would spend thinking this is a nice box I'm gonna keep this
— Erin McCrackout (@Mom_Overboard) January 2, 2022
11.
ice skating is actually crazy. you're going to put knives on your feet and slip around on some frozen lake? hard pass
— Iris (@Jest_Iris) January 3, 2022
12.
Eating raw spaghetti and drinking boiling water to make Tummy Pasta™️
— jon drake (@DrakeGatsby) January 3, 2022
