25 best tweets of the week
We’ve been diving through the depths of Twitter so you don’t have to. What? You like doing it? Oh, well. At least we can be sure you haven’t missed these 25 top tweets.
Give your faves a follow.
1.
Found out it’s $3000 to get laser eye surgery and $300 to get laser hair removal so I’m just gonna get the hair removal on my eyebrows and scootch up a bit when they start.
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) March 13, 2022
2.
I have no idea how anybody drinks scotch out of this tape
— Village Person (@SvnSxty) March 14, 2022
3.
Have you noticed how many places in Italy are named after food?
— rab livingstone (@rablivingstone) March 13, 2022
4.
What I sent: hey
What I almost sent: pic.twitter.com/3zrrRK18Mt
— Quilliam (@nyquills) March 13, 2022
5.
I'm always baffled when I see skinny people running. What are you trying to achieve? Invisibility??
— karanbir singh (@karanbirtinna) March 13, 2022
6.
I wonder if Spanish people sit around and watch a programme called ‘A place in the pissing rain’…
— Stuart Antony (@STU_ACTOR) March 16, 2022
7.
babe are you ok, you’ve hardly touched your bedside michael bolton table pic.twitter.com/L3XQpxjjbb
— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) March 13, 2022
8.
we got a new bathroom accessory and now the toilet is amazed when I pee pic.twitter.com/iKQoB5s5SS
— Xennaissance Dad (@XennDad) March 12, 2022
9.
This is the most optimistic shit I've seen in my entire life. pic.twitter.com/Ttt9IsZWJE
— Bruna (@brunanovo_) March 15, 2022
10.
0 minutes sense I typoed
— Heatherhere 😷 (@Heatinblack) March 13, 2022
11.
Officers asking me why I’m speeding like they don’t know people fast during Lent.
— StaceUgh (@girl_a_whirl) March 12, 2022
12.
Took me until I was like 30 to understand "operate heavy machinery" meant cars. I thought you weren't supposed to take Xanax and work the line at the cannery.
— Jaya Saxena (@jayasax) March 15, 2022
