This hilarious thread translates work-speak to slang and vice versa

These examples are, if anything, even better.

Me: “How do I say this meeting is a waste of my time I am not paid enough to deal with your bullshit?”

Boss: “Can you provide me with a meeting agenda so I can ensure my presence adds value? I want to prioritize my schedule to support our most urgent needs.”

— The Meanest TA, PhD. (@MeanestTA) April 1, 2022

Me: “How do I say there is no way you are this fucking stupid?”

WorkDad: “I think there was a disconnect, can you restate your definition of this concept so we can ensure there’s no miscommunication?”

— The Meanest TA, PhD. (@MeanestTA) April 1, 2022

Me: “How do I say I am not your secretary?”

Elder Curmudgeon: “I’m going to redirect you to (name) for assistance on this particular task.”

— The Meanest TA, PhD. (@MeanestTA) April 1, 2022

Me: “How do I say I have a goddamn PhD do not patronize me?”

Project Manager: “I appreciate the clarification, however I do have the subject matter expertise to manage this on my own.”

— The Meanest TA, PhD. (@MeanestTA) April 1, 2022

Me: “How do I say fight me?”

Project Manager: (deep sigh) “I think we should discuss this offline.”

— The Meanest TA, PhD. (@MeanestTA) April 1, 2022

Me: “How do I say you fucked around now you’re finding out?”

Boss: “I think you’ll find that this outcome is in line with the predictions we made during the (date) meeting.”

— The Meanest TA, PhD. (@MeanestTA) April 1, 2022

Other people had similar tips and translations.

“Help me understand ………. “

Used it hundreds of time over my career when I really wanted to say “what the f*ck were you thinking????”

And that is my mentoring moment……. Oh yeah, and take the word THAT out of most written communications.

You’re welcome. 🧐

— 🆘Karen A 🆘 (@kaa1960) April 2, 2022

My sister and I use this scale. pic.twitter.com/CgH2DT6zU9

— Leeg8r (@leecornman) April 2, 2022

I look for any opportunity I can to roll this one out: pic.twitter.com/Y4UML8cB9Q

— evixir 🇺🇦 (@evixir) April 2, 2022

We agree with Dr. Lizabeth, PhD.

Fantastic translation to professional speech. I need this as a 24/7 service on all outgoing email communications and anything I say out loud

— Dr. Lizabeth, PhD (@LizabethIrene) April 1, 2022

Anybody up for developing an app?

READ MORE

This guide to youth slang compiled by the police is the most cringeworthy thing you’ll see today

Source @MeanestTA Image Dylan Gillis on Unsplash