This appeal for legal advice is the funniest and most horrific thing you’ll read today
There’s a corner of Reddit called ‘legal advice’ which, as the name suggests, is full of people requesting expert counsel about unfortunate situations they have found themselves in.
And while we haven’t spent too much time there, we’re pretty sure it doesn’t receive too many appeals quite so horrific – and horrifically funny – as this one.
It went viral after it was shared by @djlandreform over on Twitter and, well, best have a read for yourself.
It’s a serious business, obviously. But not without a grimly funny side, obviously.
kinda worried about the fact that they don't know how to disinfect their own equipment
— Randy Miller (@randy_miller) February 2, 2023
There's a difference between let's say a flight attendant knowing how to disinfect a tray table and them being able to take out shit from the ceilings.
— gravey (@sinkovskynick) February 2, 2023
Your honor, my client didn’t sign some sort of “diarrhea clause”
— tuff mitch (@tuffmitch) February 2, 2023
The diarrhea clause was Tim Allen's worst film
— Garfield of Dreams (@stupidtrashboy) February 2, 2023
I hope to one day be able to use “I don’t remember signing some diarrhea clause”. pic.twitter.com/9Ml78Tb0r8
— 🦂 DR. BRICKTOP 🦂 (@EvilHausArc) February 2, 2023
the way he’s got “murky” in his username is killing me
— Rain🪐 (@sxmpxrvxvxm) February 2, 2023
Diarrhea! In the Sensory Deprivation Tank
— c.s. lewis farrakhan (@speedmariachi) February 2, 2023
When you're in a sensory deprivation tank and you smelling something stank diarrhea 👏 👏 diarrhea 👏 👏
— Martin Martinaise (@SpeedboatJones) February 2, 2023
Just in case you were wondering – you never know when it might come in handy – here’s the best legal advice Reddit had to offer (they seem to know what they’re talking about).
‘NAL, am a biologist. There is almost no chance that this tank is permanently ruined if it is a smooth plastic walled tank. If nothing else, viruses can not “live” indefinitely outside of a host.
‘Vigorous sanitation protocols combined with an appropriate period of disuse will render it safe. The business “not feeling” like it can sanitize it is just that, a feeling not a fact. Again, NAL but I think the operative phrase is “duty to mitigate”.
DesignerPangolin‘As a lawyer and someone who had norovirus-induced diarrhea literally yesterday, this guy gets it.
This is analogous to scraping someone’s car in a parking lot, but instead of asking for repainting, they are demanding a whole new car.’
Adorable-Address-958‘Furthering this, as an ecologist who has had many occasions to test water quality in a variety of locations for contamination, there is no way to guarantee that anyone getting into a publicly accessible tank at any business will be completely free of human fecal bacteria or enteroviruses no matter how well bathed they are.
‘That is why decontamination and sanitization exists.’
DanishWhoreHens
So no need to shit yourself about it then.
Source Reddit u/Murky_Coyote_7737 Twitter @djlandreform