25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
The weekend is almost here – and if it gets Storm Otto behind it, it’s going to arrive a lot sooner.
We’ve done that thing again. You know – where we read lots and lots of very funny tweets and collect our favourites in a handy list for you.
You’re welcome.
1.
Don’t know what’s more urgent. The problem that my child’s phone has broken or the problem that I am now A MUM?!!!! pic.twitter.com/Y4uFqW7PLp
— Rosie Jones (@josierones) February 13, 2023
2.
Me watching TV: a detective sergeant who is also a vet and can talk to animals? Seems far fetched but enjoyable.
Me watching TV with medical things: you can't give 48% oxygen via a Venturi system you imbecile, you fool. How fucking dare you.
— Dr Philip Lee (@drphiliplee1) February 14, 2023
3.
Jesus [*telling a parable*]: -and so the father said to his three sons, “Take this silver and-“
Voice from the crowd: “DO THE VOICES”
— Toby (@tobestewart) February 13, 2023
4.
Resigned to my own fate, but also really hoping that fate includes Snickers bars and an 8th season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
— Oh, George is Here (@ohgeorgeishere) February 9, 2023
5.
My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I'd have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it's mostly been weight gain and existential dread.
— Fomo Simpson (@HaliPhacks) February 15, 2023
6.
Cocaine Bear: I’m addicted to cocaine
Yogi Bear: I’m addicted to pick-a-nick baskets
Winnie the Pooh: *not wearing pants, wiping honey from his face* I DON’T HAVE A PROBLEM OKAY
— President Warren G. Harding (@PopeAwesomeXIII) February 11, 2023
7.
well i mean he is in the Police 🤷♀️ pic.twitter.com/6F1hdayZET
— ☕️~Maxi Tea~🫖 (@maxi_tea) February 15, 2023
8.
This train seems gutted about where it’s going. pic.twitter.com/YxUMoRTsad
— Rob Auton (@RobertAuton) January 29, 2023
9.
Found my chapstick in my pants pocket before it went through the washer or the dryer in case anyone is looking for a life coach.
— My Life Is The Pitts Family (@LifePitts) February 14, 2023
10.
Tomorrow my son and I are getting new glasses. And after that?
We'll see.
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) February 12, 2023
11.
Spotted this continuity error in TITANIC.
As the ship is sinking this guy starts singing “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio. The Titanic sank in 1912, “Gangsta’s Paradise” wasn’t released until 1995, over 80 years AFTER Titanic sank. A bit of an embarrassing mistake really 😬😬 pic.twitter.com/tVX9eOFkMx
— lewis 🪩 (@lewisjwr) February 15, 2023
12.
I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist today. Talk about nominative determinism. pic.twitter.com/Egna21X5Zc
— Richard Littler (@richard_littler) February 15, 2023
