25 Funny Tweets of the Week
Happy Friday to all who celebrate – and Happy Whatever Day This Is to those who are reading it after publication day. You’re all welcome.
Once again, we’ve trawled the depths of Twitter for gems – some hidden, some out there shining in all their glory – and we’ve rounded up 25 we thought you’d really enjoy.
1.
House owner: I'd like to break both of my legs, please. Architect: Say no more. pic.twitter.com/fXrZQSAEX2
— Daniel Holland ॐ (@DannyDutch) September 3, 2023
2.
I have been watching a number of YouTube videos about how to cut my belly fat, and I find it incredibly surprising that no one seems to mention that I should probably stop eating cake every day.
— Duncan Jones (@ManMadeMoon) September 4, 2023
3.
guy dinner pic.twitter.com/ilIZJhinRd
— messed up foods (@messedupfoods) September 6, 2023
4.
She wore an
Itsy bitsy teeny weeny… pic.twitter.com/4z6skpaKzm— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) September 4, 2023
5.
6.
Why do people take their tops off when they’re about to fight? If that was me I’d be adding layers to confuse my opponent, slip into a cardigan maybe. Opponent is like “wow how easy does this guy think it’s gonna be?” Before he knows it he’s been KO’d by a man in a fedora.
— Josh Pugh (@JoshPughComic) September 6, 2023
7.
People who camp are like, “But camping is so much fun!” and then tell you a story about how they had to fight a raccoon at 2 AM.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) September 6, 2023
8.
I keep a box full of cheap engagement rings. If a couple is rude to the waiting staff at my restaurant, I hide a ring in the girl's food.
— karanbir singh (@karanbirtinna) September 5, 2023
9.
Grotesque the most venomous word in the English language cause not only are you gross but you’re so gross I had to get a little french to let you know
— Rhys (@AltruisticFella) September 2, 2023
10.
How your email finds me pic.twitter.com/kSgjKszVZY
— Paul Anthony Jones (@paulanthjones) September 6, 2023
11.
If I met aliens, I would introduce them to Keanu Reeves to trick them into thinking that humans are kind but also martial arts masters
— mike☺︎ (@PhilipJFried) September 2, 2023
12.
Typical. They wouldn't have made her do that if she were a man. pic.twitter.com/guvD5N9ocL
— David KC (@DavidMuttering) September 6, 2023
