‘What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen working retail in the UK?’ – 22 people who were quite literally all over the shop

12.

‘Betting shop: Someone lost so unscrewed and stole the toilet seat. False teeth left in a sandwich on one of the tables. Someone showed me his catheter by plopping it on the counter. This whole family of really strange characters used to come in occasionally with trinkets like little Buddhas and crystals and would surround a machine with their woowoo powers before sitting there all day, never winning.’
–RecentAd7186

13.

‘When I was 16 I worked in a garden centre, I had a man scream at me down the phone calling me a nun and a priest because I was giving him the Sunday opening times and he wanted to come in at 9am.

‘A man shouted at me and demanded I remove a plant he didn’t buy and accused me of secretly adding it on the till screen, before I calmly explained – that’s not a plant, that’s my name on the screen.’
–highlandharris

14.

‘Worked in an off licence when I was 18. Saturday night, I am working alone. A young woman comes in and asks for 20 Marlboro red. I turn around to get them, turn back and there she is with both tits out, just smiling at me. She takes the cigarettes, puts her tits away and leaves.

‘Later found out that was just something she liked to do as a joke to shock people and I must have seemed like the shockable, innocent little 18-year-old.’
–ThisIsAnAccount2306

15.

‘One guy I still think about from time to time is the bloke who just lit up a cigarette while he was waiting in the queue, had a little grump when I told him to put it out, then he just calmly put it out on the palm of his own hand like a fucking psychopath. He didn’t even flinch.’
–huskydaisy

16.

‘This was years ago working in Tesco part time as a student, mind.

‘A drunk plopped himself down in the frozen aisle section and went to town on a frozen pizza, naked whilst security was on break.

‘A suited up city boy carved up a line of cocaine on one of the self checkout machines and helped himself to a trip.

‘A man with a machete ran into the store and randomly began chasing people around, which warranted armed police to burst in and arrest him, no fatalities or anyone injured luckily. Unfortunately this didn’t warrant a store closure.

‘These aren’t even the craziest stories but needless to say, I left the job to work for Vue. A uni student could only take so much madness.’
–osterlay

17.

‘Do pubs count as retail? I’ve had handfuls of coins, glasses, chairs, and punches all thrown at me.’
–Fenpunx

18.

‘Older woman tried to return a pair of shorts to me and when I asked what was wrong with them she stated ‘her husbands penis didn’t fit through the fly’.

‘I got my manager over to double check our penis policy and a barney of epic proportions ensued, resulting in the woman being practically carried out of the shop by security. The best bit was that her husband was standing meekly behind her for the entire episode, congratulations on the dong, sir!’
–beardy_col

19.

‘A middle-aged woman screamed at me that I’d ruined her children’s Christmas because we’d run out of turkey roasting bags. On Christmas Eve.’
–Maleficent-Design338

20.

‘When I was 16 a woman screamed at me that I was a stupid bitch, deliberately crashed her trolley into a window and had to be walked out by security because I’d accidentally scanned someone else’s packet of biscuits with her shopping.’
–rocketscientology

21.

‘Store detectives trying to stop a huuuuuuge man who was shoplifting, think 6ft 6 tall and almost as wide. He did a runner towards the automatic doors, boy he was quick, so quick that the doors didn’t open quickly enough and he ran into the half inch thick glass door!

‘The glass shattered around him and he stopped just outside and turned around and looked in disbelief. The store detective just took his hand, said it’s ok, you’re alright, come with me and we’ll get a strong cup of tea, he went with her meek as a lamb. Not a mark or scratch on him.’
–MaidInWales

22.

‘I worked in music retail for a while and I had a woman absolutely lose her shit with me because George Michael hadn’t released a new album. Michael was a bit of a perfectionist and took a fair few years between releases and this woman thought that two years had been quite long enough and shouted at me demanding to know exactly what was taking him so long.

‘I swear she thought because we worked in a music shop then we must know the artists personally or have a means of contacting them.’
–Prisoner3000

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