Forget sharks and windmills – Captain Cognition has been wanging on about dangerous fish from China
In a press conference that ranged from the President of the USA insisting that many people would like a dictator, to him telling the assembled reporters that nobody used magnets until 20 years ago, it’s tough to say what is and isn’t normal for Trump anymore – but this rambling discourse about fish very probably isn’t normal.
Trump: "We have a very pretty violent fish that has, uh, comes from China. China carp, Chinese carp. And uhhhhh you see them jumping out — they jump into boats and they jump all over the place. They have a lot of energy." pic.twitter.com/0lfiKe2gD8
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 25, 2025
Firstly, who TF is Kristi Whitmer? From the context, we presume he means Michigan’s Governor Gretchen Whitmer, but he clearly has Kristi Noem on the brain.
Secondly, like many countries that introduced non-native species into the wild, the US does have a problem with aggressive carp which originated in Asia, but we wonder whether the man with zero environmental consciousness should perhaps prioritise things like healthcare, unemployment and the failing economy.
Thirdly, if the governor of Michigan has asked him for help, he shouldn’t demand that the governor of Illinois grovel before he sets those wheels in motion.
Here’s what Twitter thought of his rambling.
1.
Watch as Trump just makes up the name of a governor, “Kristi Whitman”, then babbles about fish. He is completely out of it, struggling, and grasping for words. His thought process is shot. Who is actually running the country, Stephen Miller? pic.twitter.com/HPq5BnCysZ
— Mike Sington (@MikeSington) August 25, 2025
2.
Jake Tapper this right here is what dementia and a man in decline looks like https://t.co/R6gCYWGUy8
— Henry Djoutsa Supports (@D_jeneration) August 26, 2025
3.
I feel like I'm watching the world's worst nature documentary, hosted by a man who's just seen a fish for the very first time. "And here we have… the carp… from China. It is… pretty. And violent. Look at it jump. Wow. So much energy." David Attenborough is weeping into a…
— Projekt Europa (@braesikalla) August 25, 2025
4.
He'll be the world's greatest expert on Chinese Carp, you see. https://t.co/oWn9KBL6kH
— @RayHan66 (@RayHan665) August 26, 2025
5.
Dude, they just asked if you like to fish!? What the hell is he talking about? https://t.co/BEYbWOOc6P
— Big Dave Little (@bigdavelittle) August 26, 2025
6.
Now Donald Trump is worried about killer fish. Forget the economy and foreign policy. He's now fixated on “very pretty violent” carp from China that apparently jump into boats and have a lot of energy. This joins his prior crises of low water pressure and menacing windmills. pic.twitter.com/gwKDWtFAkM
— Russell Drew (@RussOnPolitics) August 25, 2025
7.
What a fucking clown. https://t.co/iwqrxCMloj
— Eamon Melia (@EamonMelia) August 25, 2025
8.
Which country will we deport the fish to?
— DrPareto (@DrPareto2025) August 25, 2025
9.
Jesus. Dementia much.
Also, this fucken guy. There’s a really big problem and we can fix it but I’m not gonna unless my ass is kissed enough. https://t.co/ghSQbqDD9J— TCL (@TCL) August 26, 2025
10.
So he is going to invade Illinois with federal troops because Chinese carp in the great lake are jumping into boats?
— Carol Becker (@cbecker55373) August 25, 2025
11.
No wonder the White House isn't posting transcripts of his remarks any more: https://t.co/OX3nUFLU76
— Patt "Bluechecked" Morrison (@pattmlatimes) August 26, 2025
12.
Chinese carp throughout American rivers right now: pic.twitter.com/9ln87Mw3Wr
— William Rest (@RestWillia6795) August 25, 2025
13.
I caught one of the China carp. pic.twitter.com/YXQUwWmMwD
— Chris Robinson (@ChrisRobinsonNJ) August 25, 2025
14.
The biggest Dumbass in American history to sit in that chair. https://t.co/gHVEkzXKxa
— John Marston (@Marston1889) August 25, 2025
15.
He thinks China carp are staging a naval invasion, negotiating for a 10% stake and a 50% tariff to use our lakes.
Next week: North Korean pigeons plotting air superiority.
Is he on prescribed drugs or found junior stash?
E.V. Leon Acting Secretary of Imaginary Wars
— E.V. Leon (@AuthorEvleon) August 25, 2025
We’ll just leave this here.
The CIA just released Secret footage of his intel briefing …..♂️♂️
https://t.co/LOWPS7uB9t pic.twitter.com/u3gfWC5zfg— Cooky (@BrokenTwitty) August 26, 2025
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Source Aaron Rupar Image Screengrab, Screengrab