‘What’s the most innocently stupid thing you’ve ever done?’ – 22 people who were both incredibly dumb and incredibly lucky

When you are young or drunk, or both, it’s easy to do things that cause you to look back in utter horror when you’ve grown up. And to wonder how we’ve come as far as we have as a species.

They’ve been chatting about this on the AskUK subreddit after SpaceTimeCapsule89 posted this:

‘What’s the most innocently stupid thing you’ve ever done? Something that didn’t have major consequences but you wonder what you were thinking?

‘I had a party in my early 20’s and at some point in the night, me and my friend decided we wanted some bucks fizz. So we put a bottle of it in the freezer. We forgot about it, the party ended and everyone went home and I went to bed.

‘I woke up in the morning to the freezer door wide open and and broken glass and orange slush everywhere. It took me a good five minutes to work out what had actually happened…’

And people who had been idiots to a greater or lesser extent chipped in with their stories, like these…

1.

‘Me and my best friend used to get really drunk and then go swimming in the sea in the middle of the night. We were like 16 years old. I still can’t believe we are still alive. So fucking stupid!’
–eyeball-beesting

2.

‘Met a bloke off the Internet for a beer once. I was 14, he was 27. I’d already started sort of going out to pubs and growing up a bit, where as most of my mates at the time still looked too young even for early 2000s standards.

‘So I was just innocently looking for another bloke to go for a few beers in the local and talk about heavy metal and music.

‘Looking back, there’s normally only one reason a grown man meets a child almost half their age off the Internet. I think what saved my innocence was the fact that I was about a foot bigger than him, 16 stone, and already had a thicker beard than he did.’
–rezonansmagnetyczny

3.

‘When I was about 15 I was home alone and decided to pop over to my mate’s house in the next village along.

‘This was a time before mobile phones were a big thing so I needed to communicate this to my parents and, because I was young and thick, I wrote a note and stuck it to my front door saying “Gone out, door locked, keys in the letterbox”. I lived in a fairly dicey area and looking back it’s amazing nobody took advantage of this open goal and stole all our stuff.’
–HutzMcClure

4.

‘When I was about 13, me and a friend filled a Super Soaker with petrol to make a homemade flame thrower. Sprayed Lynx Africa on the nozzle to get the nozzle to light and then pressurised the canister of petrol. It worked great and shot flames about 20 feet. I should not be here typing this.’
–Sashaflick

5.

‘I put my finger in a stick blender once. I was a bit tired and was taking the blade off and I said to myself, “Do NOT press the on button”. I pressed the on button.

‘Luckily the damage was fairly minimal. I refused to even look at it for a while until my wife made me and I was pleasantly surprised it hadn’t just vaporised it. I think the blade got stuck on the bone and it jammed. I don’t even have a scar.’
–barriedalenick

6.

‘Drunk after a night out, I didn’t want to pay for a taxi home so I found some random homeless people and asked if I could stay in their tent! Luckily they were nice and I got some sleep but who knows what could have happened.’
–Forsaken1741

7.

‘Was a bit pissed after a night out so went home, proceeded to go into my apartment all fine but then decided I was hungry and wanted food. Went back out but forgot my keys, building door locked and I was screwed.

‘It was like 2am so couldn’t call anyone without freaking them out so slept outside of my own building. People got worried who ‘this random guy out front was’ so called the police. Long story short they let me back in with no consequences but it was the most stupid thing I’ve done really.’
–Educational-Angle717

8.

‘About 15 years I lived not that far from a younger cousin, she called me for advice and help because her roommate had filled up the detergent dispenser in the dishwasher with washing up liquid, I’ve never seen so many bubbles. It took forever to clean up!’
–lindsaychild

9.

‘I was cleaning the gas hob after cooking a stew on it for over an hour. I wasn’t stupid, I picked up the grid by the back and placed it on the chopping board, then cleaned the hob.

‘I then picked up the grid by the back again and started to put it back on the hob, only there was this weird smell… and a lot of pain, I swear there was a mild fizzing. At that point I realised I’d picked up the grid by the front and was gently cooking my fingers.

‘No scars I’m glad to say, well no physical ones… I’ve always been triply careful since that day.’
–Ecstatic_Effective42

10.

‘Not me, a friend. He was in a club, very drunk, cigarette in one hand, drink in the other. Decided he wanted to go outside and needed to pull the door open. Instead of putting the fag in his mouth, to free up his hand, he dropped his drink. He looked stupefied for a moment then turned back to the bar for another drink.’
–Astropoppet

11.

‘I met up with people I’d met online at age 13/14. We’d always meet in a public place (shopping centre) but I never told my parents. Luckily all these people were who they said they were (also age 13/14) but you never know! I was kinda naive at the time.

‘But it turned out fine as one of my closest friends is someone I met online aged 12! They live in Ireland and we met in person at 18. Since then we’ve met up quite a few times and been on holiday together and speak regularly.’
–sooty_bear

12.

‘I was getting a bit overwhelmed the week of my Mrs moving to Aussie and I was working a full on job. The day she left, I had to work. So I saw her off in the morning then went about my day. Something was off all day and I figured it was just emotional overload.

‘When I got home, I found I had been wearing her glasses all day and we’ve had to get her a new prescription over there.’
–HeyGuysHowWasJail