‘What’s the funniest misunderstanding you’ve had recently?’ – 23 small but highly comical muddles

13.

‘Me to my local cornershop keeper: Do you have any bay leaves, please?

‘Shopkeeper: Yeah. Here you go. Places a bottle of Baileys on the counter.’
–NeedleworkerBig3980

14.

‘A friend of mine used to work at Aldi. One day my brother came round and started talking about some problems he was having with his car. I asked what he was planning to do about it, and he said he was going to speak to my friend. I was completely confused, why would he do that? My mate doesn’t even have a car.

‘My brother looked just as puzzled and said, “Well, obviously… he works for Audi.” Turns out my brother had spent years thinking my friend, someone he actually knew pretty well and had chatted with loads of times down the pub, worked for Audi, not Aldi.’
–therainydayclub

15.

‘I was at the dentist and he was calling out the state of my teeth to his dental nurse to record on the computer. I was HORRIFIED when he said that several of my teeth were ‘not pleasant’.

‘At the end, he said all was good, and surprised, I asked him about the ones he didn’t like. Turns out he had been saying ‘not present’ as I’d previously had the teeth removed.’
–baylo99

16.

‘I once heard a lady tell her friend that she knew someone who had a ‘myopic pregnancy’.’
–UntamedMegasloth

17.

‘One of the times we took our daughter to A&E, she must have been about two or three months old, and I was sleep deprived due to her having a serious dairy intolerance. Doctors said if she starts showing a fever to give her paracetamol. I asked how I get a three month old to take paracetamol tablets. They obviously meant Calpol/generic liquid paracetamol.’
–Kamikaze-X

18.

‘When I was booking the appointment to give notice of marriage, I thought the woman asked “Why are you getting married?” It really threw me, so I started rambling on saying that we have been together a long time and want to be married. She then stopped me and said “No, WHERE are you getting married?”‘
–Georgii18

19.

‘I was waiting for a train, reading a book. A lady stands right in front of me and announces to me, in a questioning tone, that she needs to go to the next city over. I was a bit confused why, but said it’s probably from a platform in a different area of the station.

‘It was about five mins later that I realised I was dressed in a jacket and jeans the exact same colour as GWR employee uniforms, one of the main train companies of the station.’
–heysundaysie

20.

‘Talking to my partner about an aggressive dog with a bite history while my sweet Labrador was trying to get petted by people walking by.

‘An elderly neighbour screamed when the dog leaned over the fence because she was listening in and thought we were talking about our one. She briefly had a go at us for not keeping her muzzled outside before she realised we were talking about a different dog.’
–Fine_Analyst_4408

21.

‘I was in a Decathlon not too long ago browsing some small sports equipment and a lady nearby started rubbing some massage balls up and down her thigh while looking at me suggestively.

‘She goes “Yeah, it feels sooo good’. I thought we’ve got a right one here I do attract them – so I humoured her and responded, “Oooh is that nice is it? Does it feel nice? Glad it’s good”. She carries on rubbing and ignores me then I hear a man right behind me “Get them if you like them, they’ll help your injury”. I turn round and she’s chatting to her husband.

‘There’s been loads over the years due to bad eyesight and bad hearing!’
–ComeDanceWithMe2nite

22.

‘I was recently in hospital and an older woman was in the bed next to me and had broken her ankle so she couldn’t get up on her own. She asked the nurse if she could ‘spend a penny’ and they sorted her out a bed pan. However, I went to go have a shower later in the day and my partner said there was a palaver where the old woman tried to escape to go to the shops and the nurses were panicking.

‘He said the woman kept saying she needed to ‘spend a penny’ and was trying to get out of the bed. Everyone, including my partner, had apparently never heard the phrase and assumed she literally wanted to spend some money.’
–dearhummingbird

23.

‘My son thought Michael Jackson and Michael Rosen were the same person. He said they’d been learning about Michael Jackson at school. Took white a bit of unpacking to realise it was, in fact, Rosen.

‘Phew!’
–Weezlecheesle

Source r/AskUK Image Screenshot