25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week
13.
In the 80s, this would turn into a Hamlet advert.
— Jason (@nickmotown.bsky.social) 1 May 2026 at 18:40
14.
There's about 200 calories in a donut. If I eat 6 a day and nothing else, I'd "technically" still be on a diet.
15.
they should hire an 18 year old to play bond so we don’t have to do this again for another forty years
— ceej (@ceej.online) 1 May 2026 at 05:49
16.
US [to dog]: You don't have to bark at random people passing the house.
DOG: I'm protecting us.
US: Of course, but–
DOG: Have you ever been murdered in your beds?
US: …no.
DOG: YOU'RE WELCOME.
#dogsofbluesky #doglife #dogs
— Zoe Samuel (@zoesamuel.bsky.social) 5 May 2026 at 02:47
17.
Jeff Bezos ‘selling $500m superyacht because it attracts too much attention’. If he had Prime he could have just returned it within 30 days.
— Paul Lander (@paullander.bsky.social) 4 May 2026 at 21:36
18.
The people in that emergency life raft are more relaxed than I’ve ever been
— Jason, ex Inferis (@benedictsred.bsky.social) 5 May 2026 at 13:39
19.
‘And the transcription software will definitely know the Prime Minister’s name when it comes up?’
‘Yeah. Course.’
— Jason Hazeley (@jasonhazeley.bsky.social) 5 May 2026 at 13:28
20.
[restaurant]
DATE: I’ll have the chicken.
WAITER: And you, sir?
ME: The steak. Aren’t you going to write our orders down?
WAITER: No, I have a great memory.
ME: Prove it.
WAITER: The blonde you came in with last Wednesday was much hotter.
DATE: Hey!
ME: No, he’s right.— Uncle Duke (@uncleduke1969.bsky.social) 1 May 2026 at 14:17
21.
I just watched the Odyssey trailer and I am so glad they nailed Odysseus’ Boston accent.
— Nikita Gill (@nikitagill.bsky.social) 5 May 2026 at 14:27
22.
Speed dating is where you have to tell Keanu Reeves a little bit about yourself or this bus will explode
— Deeny they/them (@geraldinepiche.bsky.social) 5 May 2026 at 11:17
23.
I love the hierarchy of book blurbs. If you're not that well-known you have to write something quite precise and thoughtful but if you're a big name you can just say "Book good. Me like book" and it goes on the front cover
— Dorian Lynskey (@dorianlynskey.bsky.social) 2 May 2026 at 13:12
24.
Hiring Manager: And how would you say you perform under pressure?
Me: ARE ALL THE QUESTIONS GOING TO BE THIS HARD??
— Kip Conlon (@kipconlon.bsky.social) 5 May 2026 at 03:15
25.
i put my phone on dark mode and now it won’t stop listening to The Cure
— DaddyJew (@daddyjew.bsky.social) 3 May 2026 at 01:47