An American writer asked what British people have for dinner, and the Brits went into full troll mode – 21 favourite wind-ups

They say you should write what you know, which is all very well if you know about spies, international drug-runners, or mystic symbolism in the Vatican… or so we’ve heard. It’s less useful if you know about guitar string gauges, how to load a dishwasher properly, and what time to go to the supermarket to get the best discounted ready meals.

Over on r/AskUK, ProfessionalLead2671 revealed that – despite being American – they’d decided to write a book set in Great Britain.

They had a problem.

“What do British people have for dinner?”

They added –

“Hi! I’m a writer, and my characters are all British, but I’m not. In one family scene, my main character is having dinner in his home, and I just wanted to ask what a typical British family would have for dinner on any normal day. What would a mother cook for the family? My current working dish is fish and chips, but that sounds too posh to me.”

The question caused an outbreak of good old British pisstaking, not to mention a lot of arguments over what Brits will and won’t cook.

These were our favourites.

1.

No one would ever cook fish and chips. That’s something u would go and pick up from the local chippy.
Typical-agent-4118

We “cook” fish and chips all the time. Not quite the same as from a chippy, but breaded fish fillet, oven chips and peas. Standard lazy, stick it in the oven because I can’t really be arsed to cook, meal.
penny_lab

Of course people make fish & chips at home. Do you think Birds Eye just make products to remain in the freezer?
princes_slayer

2.

You’ve opened a can of worms here (not for dinner). Where are they from in the UK? Is it a basic, poor, or wealthy dinner? Details matter in terms of scene setting here if you want to be authentic.
Trowsyrs

3.

You’d cook proper British food like spaghetti bolognese, chilli con carne, or tika masala.
MerlinOfRed

4.

Roast peacock on a school day, something fancy at the weekend.
sameoldbones

They are a bugger to pluck!
RealisticActuator336

Not a fan of roast peacock, tastes too much like owl to me.
CyberManc

5.

I’m concerned about how the rest of the story is going to come out if this is the only detail they think they need assistance on as someone not from the UK writing about British characters.
purplepoaceae

They’ve probably already nailed the Big-Ben-visible-from-everywhere-in-the-UK bit.
Afinkawan

6.

No it’s fine I’m sure. It reads generic, like ‘Giles and Philomena opened their lunch Satchels and tucked gleefully into their crumpets, flask of tea, followed by scrumptious cream and jam covered scones. Once finished, the children played hopscotch before going back to class with Miss Honeydew’.

Typically British.
Alltorque1982

7.

Gruel obviously. Please sir, may I have some more?
12buttonsJim

8.

Swan goujons at the weekend.
RedSunWuKong

Not bleedin’ swan again!
TheAncientGeek

9.

Super! Just add in the fact that everyone involved should be eating cucumber sandwiches.
jtr99

10.

Don’t forget the lashings of ginger beer!
sandersonprint

11.

My gran used to cook a mean Patagonian Yak.
StanStare