Twitter funny tweets of the week
Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
— Nux (@mherlihy0816) July 28, 2026
14.
Plumber is scheduled to arrive between 2 PM and December 2029.
— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) July 28, 2026
15.
I don’t think sharks know what week it is.
— Jack Kelly (@JackKel19462997) July 29, 2026
16.
Overheard a lady saying she won't let her kid watch Peppa Pig because it encourages bad behaviour like "jumping in puddles".
I watched Road Runner as a kid and haven't blown anyone up with dynamite yet.
— Old Salty Marine (@BamaSaltyMarine) July 29, 2026
17.
The cyclist is a disarming evil; he possesses all the arrogance of the driver with all the victim complex of a pedestrian
— roro, PhD (@fuglibetty) July 28, 2026
18.
girlfriend: now don't start weird conversations with my dad tonight
me: fine
*later*
me: (immediately) ah rugs, the coward's carpet
— (@foreeeeeal) July 29, 2026
19.
found the fucking united nation of apple juices pic.twitter.com/bRqE7JbfcC
— olga (@NOTolgaa) July 28, 2026
20.
Infantino accused of ‘selling the soul of football’ with World Cup plan. In his defence, it’s the only part he’s got left to auction off pic.twitter.com/zE6wQvDpwQ
— Have I Got News For You (@haveigotnews) July 29, 2026
21.
I couldn't fall asleep last night, so I tried that old counting-sheep technique. It didn't take long — we only have three or four in the whole house.
— Damon Hunzeker (@DamonHunzeker) February 9, 2025
22.
Thinking about running amok, but planning to begin by running a half mok to get in shape.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) July 25, 2026
23.
Knowing that cats have excellent night vision, and then realizing that if they step on your face in the middle of the night, it's a decision
— kiesha (@kiesha9i) July 25, 2026
24.
Brown recluse is a bullshit name. Why you gotta judge a spider for not liking crowds? YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SPIDER'S LIFE!
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) July 26, 2026
25.
Nobody sees the 5am runs.
Nobody sees me choosing a salad over fries.
Nobody sees me doing yoga in a peaceful sunlit room.
Because I don’t do any of that shit.— Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 (@MikeBales) July 29, 2026
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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