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The hilarious Twitter predictions for the new Grand Designs episode were made even funnier by the show’s own very self-aware bingo card
13.
"Rather than waste money on spray insulation, Matt has decided to make it himself by chewing old copies of the Financial Times, his extensive collection of leather bound books, and 1st editions of every Tory autobiography he owns like a 6ft tall sporty gerbil."
— Leo Kanner (@zigzogniggy) September 17, 2026
14.
“Matt who runs an online cycling business, solely made from tissue and guluten free acrylic for disabled migrant children, along with his wife Bryony who has a boutique cafe which sells egg free omelettes & locally sourced Avacado – they have £3.6M budget for this ambitious…
— Mac V Sog (@2505Mac) September 17, 2026
15.
The set back from the cliff subsidence means they’re now roughly £1.3 million over their original budget and 36 months behind schedule. Matt decides to take over the project management on the build to save costs, and they’ve moved into a tent.… aaaand there’s another new…
— Tamara Sword (@tamsword) September 17, 2026
16.
During the groundworks Bryony & Matt discovered a void leading to Narnia that required an additional concrete pour. Due to technical difficulties (earth’s supply of concrete insufficient), the couple decided to cover over with an ethnically and ethically sourced wardrobe. Sadly…
— KM Freeman (@kmfreeman77) September 17, 2026
17.
Matt handcrafts organic doorstops and Bryony teaches mindfulness to alpacas. Their budget is £820,000.
See you in 18 months when they’ve spent £1.6m and are living in a caravan.
— Mashscot (@mashscot) September 16, 2026
18.
Matt and Byrony have managed to create the roof tiles by mixing their own faeces with recycled pampas grass from Egypt. Sadly an outbreak of dysentery has put the building back by six months.
— rascal (@JasonBasejase) September 17, 2026
19.
Matt, 34, makes ethically sourced scented candles for anxious dogs. His partner Bryony runs a consultancy teaching FTSE 100 companies how to reconnect with moss. They’re building a six-bedroom passivhaus entirely from compressed seaweed. Budget: £2.4 million.
— David (@thedavidcurrie) September 17, 2026
20.
Matt has been tirlessly using a diesel generator to power the sea water filtration chamber! Which produces pure h20 for the cement mixer! Bryony has almost given up on making a daisy chain fence.but has enough fish hooks from turtles to do the curtain hooks
— future hombre (@futurehombre8) September 17, 2026
21.
Despite a limited budget of just three million pounds and with a huge family building empire behind them, Eadweard and Framboise Mwah-Mwah of Chelsea are taking on the near impossible task of converting a shipping container into a micro home in Dagenham. Will they succeed?
— Turnipdodger (@turnipdodger) September 17, 2026
22.
Bryony's grandfather invented the colour green on traffic lights and Matt runs an online business selling paint for roundabouts.
Their ambitious 800k project will incorporate a small nuclear powered greenhouse and a meat rendering plant.
— Stoo (@discostoo) September 16, 2026
23.
Bryony’s grandfather invented brunch, and Matt makes artisanal spam. They will eventually spend £7.3 million on their river powered high rise mill bungalow that creates free wind for the entire county.
— . (@panvalues) September 16, 2026
Anyway, here’s the potted version from the very funny and astute George Lewis.
@georgelewiscomedian Eveey episode of Grand Designs #granddesigns #kevinmccloud #ukcomedy #funny ♬ original sound – George Lewis
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