People shared their most embarrassing moments that mortify them to this day – 23 hilarious foul-ups to make your day better
Schadenfreude – the name for the feeling of pleasure derived from the misfortune of others – tends to be applied to events that are bad for unpleasant people. Like when Liz Truss got the boot from being Prime Minister for her insane mini-budget, for example.
But sometimes we can feel a nice twinge of it when very minimally bad things happen to nice people. It can even cheer us up a bit.
Reddit user CozJeez85 knows this, and posted the following on the CasualUK page…
‘I’m feeling really melancholy, so please tell me your most embarrassing moments to cheer me up. Tell me the silly things that still make you cringe to this day… Thank you.’
And people were only happy to brighten their mood with tales of their own idiocy, like these…
1.
‘I was walking in a wood with no one else around except a woman a few metres ahead. Out of nowhere she turned around and stared at me, then shouted “helllloooo!”. It was so weird and loud I assumed she had learning difficulties and did a big “hellloooo!” back, with an accompanying big hand wave.
‘Long story short, she owned a dog called Yellow who was just behind me. I walked on so fast.’
–RipBeginning3851
2.
‘Was in the local Tesco Express where I had to step over a staff member who was cleaning up a spillage of frozen peas. Me, being the comedy genius I am, went to make a joke about someone having ‘peed’ themselves, but the awkward introvert in me took over and I just went “I pissed”.
‘Cue a long awkward silence between me and the staff member, before I just had to turn and walk off. Thankfully he doesn’t work there anymore.’
–walkintom
3.
‘I used to live in a pub with my grandparents in the early 2000’s when I was about 13. Back in the day, we used to have the big screen downstairs to put the footy on, and this was done through the Sky box upstairs in the living room.
‘Me being a frisky little teen decided it would be a great idea to switch the TV on to some lovely soft core porn (Men and Motors if I remember). Next thing I know, my grandad is shouting upstairs to turn the fucking TV back to the football. I had just turned over the football on the big screen projector in the pub to soft core porn.
Memories.’
–SwitchTraditional136
4.
‘When I was 16 I went to see a psychiatrist. Because of my disability I sometimes had problems speaking and/or explaining things so my dad would come to the appointment to ‘interpret’ for me. At one point in the appointment I said the phrase ‘wet dream’, hoping that the euphemism was tame enough that my dad could just pretend he hadn’t heard it.
‘But then the psychiatrist asked me “What does that mean? Is that when you sweat in your sleep?” So my dad had to explain to this grown 30-something woman with a medical degree what a wet dream was.’
–ans-myonul
5.
‘I used to have a crush on a bartender, and I was trying my best at cute flirting with them at the pub, I was stood at the bar, and for some reason thought it would be a great idea to grab the spray bottle on the bar and spray them with it (why!?).
‘BAM, pure bleach straight to the eyes, I made the man cry. They had to go home. I bought them a bottle of booze to apologise and really I haven’t ever gotten any better at flirting.’
–Glum_Visual6334
6.
‘I was working on reception and a guy came in asking to pay his council tax. I directed him to the touch screen payment machine and he responded by holding up two metal claws for hands.
‘I felt like such a nob and apologised profusely and practically vaulted over the desk to go assist him…while saying ‘let me give you a hand’…FFS.’
–Clomojo87
7.
‘I once got trapped in a well, like those kids you used to read about in the news. I was 26 years old.’
–Ruvio00
8.
‘I was waiting for the bus one day and out of nowhere I fainted right as it pulled up. I woke up to the driver making everyone get off the bus and wait for the next one while he made sure I was OK. It was 8am so the bus was full of school kids and I wanted to die.
‘Also the driver had called an ambulance so I had to go to the hospital. After like 4 hours I was checked out but they didn’t want me to leave by myself so I had to call my boyfriend who I’d only been seeing for a couple of weeks to leave work and come get me.
‘That was a fun day.’
–mannymo49
9.
‘I was getting the train home from a night out, and had bought a chocolate Yazoo from the kebab shop. I had opened the foil before I got on the train, but by the time I got on and sat down on a busy last service, I remembered to shake the bottle before drinking it.
‘Shaking the bottle resulted in chocolate milk spraying around the carriage, covering a woman who was wearing what looked like a very expensive fur coat and ballgown, and both her and her partner got very angry.
‘I just had to apologise profusely and tried to explain my error while the train slowly crawled to my stop, with a packed carriage looking at me as though I was the village idiot.’
–psukclipper
10.
‘When I was 7 I forced a dice so far up my nose I needed to go to A&E to have it removed.’
–Fizziest_milk
11.
‘Many moons ago, my partner at the time and I decided to do a bit of skinny dipping in the local countryside river, someone stole our clothes, and with them, phones and wallet. So I had to run to the nearest phone box (which was about 2 miles away) naked. The police were called (it was a sleepy quaint village afterall) they did take pity on me and took me back to the river to my ex partner (who I’d told to stay in the river neck deep)
‘Upon my return she was fully clothed, sat next to my clothes, they had been dumped in a bin 50 yards downstream, phone and wallet were gone along with my dignity.’
–Key-Original-225
12.
‘When the midwife asked me how long it took us to get pregnant, I was a bit confused and said “About two minutes?”
‘My husband looked absolutely mortified and quickly jumped in with “She means four months. We were trying for four months.”‘
–PassportAndPeonies1