Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week

After what seems to have been seven Mondays in a raincoat, masquerading as a normal week, it’s finally Friday – which means it’s time for us to share the things that have made us laugh on Twitter this week.

We like to think that there’s something for everyone, but if we’ve missed out your favourite, let us know what it was.

Let’s dive right in.

1.

Menopause: What are your expectations?

Me: I’d love to lose 10 lbs and maybe skip the hot flashes

Menopause: Best I can do is eliminate the hair on your legs and give you a mustache

— Shannon (@gardengirl125) September 22, 2026

2.

seriously messed up the incantation on my terra cotta army and now I have 8,000 animated "worriers" who will not stop asking if I turned the stove off before we left for war

— Lark (@king_of_limb) September 22, 2026

3.

that smell isn’t me. I still got 15 minutes left of my 96 hour deodorant

— Dr. Bооb (@freezingflesh) September 23, 2026

4.

Thankfully the Woman who collapsed on the Airport Luggage Carousel is slowly coming round.

— Tim Waddy (@Waddy1) September 23, 2026

5.

My car isn't fancy, but it does have a feature where the 8yo in the back seat informs you any time you go one (1) mile over the speed limit

— meghan (@deloisivete) September 23, 2026

6.

my summer tan is fading, which means it's almost time to switch my foundation shade from "sickly underbelly of a dead fish" back to "ghost haunting the basement of an Opera house"

— Janel Comeau 🍁 (@VeryBadLlama) September 21, 2026

7.

Nature survival shows are funny. They will have a voiceover ask, "Can Bear Grylls make it up this treacherous icy mountain terrain?"

He should, the camera guy just did it.

— Miss Ally (@MissAlly_01) September 23, 2026

8.

I love it when good things happen to good people pic.twitter.com/xZpblFTEd6

— Jamal (@jamalthetenth) September 22, 2026

9.

Me: The plural of "beef" is "beeves."

Boss [in Zoom meeting]: I meant "anything to add pertinent to this topic."

— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) September 22, 2026

10.

"why do u have a gap in ur resume" idk why do u have a gap in ur staff. worry about that

— Noah (@NoahKingJr) September 20, 2026

11.

There is much talk at the moment of ‘preparedness’. I am happy to tell you that I have fuel for two days, food for a week and reading matter for 243 years.

— Kate Witney (@KIWitney) September 21, 2026

12.

bought the Clarkson lager because it was reduced to clear but shook my head at the till so the Tesco staff knew I disagreed with it

— Aidan James (@mcandidate) September 22, 2026