Donald Trump’s trade secretary just lowered the bar for publicly kissing his big ass and the internet nearly died of second hand shame

There’s nothing in America that can’t be achieved with the right amount of hard work. As long as all of that hard work is focused directly on slinging third grade teacher-level praise at the President.

Donald Trump’s hand-picked Secretary of Commerce leads the pack when it comes to heaping compliments on his dear leader. Howard Lutnick took things to a new level this week with this gross display of groveling.

Lutnick: "I have the best job, because I get to sit and watch Donald J Trump make the coolest deals I've ever seen in my life. And I have the best time doing it." pic.twitter.com/tUbmi7PXPi

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 30, 2026

As if this embarrassing display of fealty isn’t degrading enough, Trump couldn’t even stay awake through Lutnick’s sycophancy.

surreal scenes — Trump is out while Howard Lutnick frantically glazes him pic.twitter.com/PW7T6FMQbk

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 30, 2026

Trump may have conked out during the shameless ass-kissing, but the rest of the internet did not and they voiced their second hand embarrassment in the replies.