‘Between Scarborough and York. Teen lad by himself at the table seat across the aisle from me. Took out a massive pomegranate and spent most of the journey tearing into it with his bare hands and eating it.
Entire table, floor etc. looked like a crime scene by the time he was done. He did try and mop up with a few napkins, but it was a losing battle. I was transfixed.’
–jennie2point0
14.
‘On a quiet early morning train I watched a member of railway (TOC) staff put his boots up on the table. He then took off his boots and socks, and trimmed his toenails.
Later, he put his socks and boots back on and got off at the station he wanted, leaving the clippings on the table.
Things are generally better than they once were in this respect, but there are still pockets of people in the industry who view ‘pax’ with complete and unconcealed contempt.’
–xdbojacx
15.
‘A gimp getting on the first Sunday train out of Euston complete with Pat Butcher earnings and two bags of Sainsbury’s shopping.’
–Winston_Carbuncle
16.
‘I was at uni in Leeds, and was going to visit my then girlfriend in Manchester. It was the day after the Leeds festival and an already packed carriage was joined by a couple of young men with brand-name backpacks, red trousers, and voices I can only describe as “braying.”
And bray to each other they did, for twenty-odd minutes, making it clear to all how much they’d enjoyed slumming it with the proles, but were happy to be getting back to civilisation. The conductor wondered through and they flagged him down.
“Hello. Yes. When will we arrive at Shrewsbury?”
“Sorry sir, where?”
“Shrewsbury.”
“This train is for Manchester Piccadilly sir, it goes nowhere near Shrewsbury. It does stop at Dewsbury soon though.”
“Yes. Shrewsbury.”
“No sir, Dewsbury.”
Cue fifteen minutes of incomprehension, bluster and indignation at station workers’ accents while the rest of the carriage made silently amused eye contact over the tip of their newspapers. Genuinely the most camaraderie I’ve ever felt on public transport.’
–kurekamo
17.
‘For me… people who forget to lock the toilet door.’
–JeremyBeadle1980
18.
‘A lady sat down across the aisle with a holdall which she put on the floor under her table. She unzipped various panels and the bag extended out in all directions giving the three ferrets inside more room to run about.
Watching them was easily the most fun I’ve had on a train. There were three very different personalities in there who kept me amused all the way home.’
–biggreyman
19.
‘Man got on with a huge bunch of bananas, and ate five bananas back to back. Just didn’t know where it would end. Five doesn’t sound super impressive , but once he’d got though four we were wondering if he was just doing the whole bunch.’
–ResplendentBear
20.
‘This bloke spent the best part of an hour on his mobile on the Friday commuter train from London to Leeds berating various members of his “team”. When he got out at Peterborough someone down the end of the carriage called out in a loud voice “thank fuck for that” and everyone burst out laughing.’
–Underwritingking
21.
‘I once observed an elderly couple having a blazing row on a train in sign language. They made almost not a sound, but they were clearly absolutely furious with each other.’
–Few_Honey7367
