Social Media Bob Mortimer cats
102 times Bob Mortimer proved he is the absolute master of naming cats
Back in 2016 the living legend that is Bob Mortimer started ‘selling’ surreal cat names on Twitter as a running joke to amuse his followers. They were so popular that in 2018 Bob partnered with the Cats Protection charity and visited their adoption centres, personally naming dozens of real rescue cats such as Lacey Bedspread, Tender Gary and Fond Margaret.
As if you couldn’t love the guy any more!
Twitter user Johnny Aneurysm (who sounds like he himself could have been named by Mortimer) has shared a big list of the lucky cats.
Bob Mortimer once gave rescue cats daft names in order to help them get adopted.
Pissing myself at some of these.
1/2 https://t.co/oRm179FSI9— Johnny Aneurysm (@Bincedmeef) October 7, 2026
We’ve mashed ’em all together in this list:
Bob Mortimer’s Cat Names
- Tony Caramel
- Ron Paving
- Clive Eloquence
- Paul Workclothing
- Gary Chapati
- Ken Turmoil
- Max Panscourer
- Pat Twat
- Len Murder
- Dave Bowl
- Barbara Lighthouse
- Perry Similar
- Kenny Carpets
- Tracy Everywhere
- Johnny Cointreau
- Mark Pork
- Todd Farty
- Anton Saucepans
- Muriel Breakthrough
- Ronnie Pom-pom
- John Pudding
- Brad Shit
- P.O. Box 6
- Billy the Pigeon
- Honestly Shitfaced
- Darren Plunge
- Ronnie California
- Karen Cobblers
- Geoffrey Fire
- ITV One
- Top Heavy Ken
- Comfortable Derek
- Patrick Cups
- ITV One + 1
- Passive Matthew
- Keith’s Dick
- Yusef Nightmares
- Watery Ron
- The Cake
- The Evil Coin
- Tanned Hand
- Formally Bernard
- 50 Shits
- Strongly Ron
- Intelligence and Turnips
- The Bomb Club
- Zac Parliament
- Gary Venue
- Buttery Paul
- Long Rodney
- Jim Equipment
- Ron O’Congo
- Mars Barr
- Pat Shatty
- Len Chestweasels
- Humphrey Barcode
- Shit Car
- Gentle Kenneth
- Rusty Seduction
- Doctor Handrail
- Dusty Handmusic
- Quality Parsnips
- Edith’s Tits
- 7 Hamburgers
- Mike Drink
- Napoli Rodriguez
- Fish and Tits
- Gary Whelks
- Pat du Jour
- Sandy Fingerings
- Dusty Sequence
- FriendlyToffeeBloke
- Buttery Ken
- Fox Leftovers
- The Anus
- Jackie Doritos
- Harry Tits
- Ken Tussle
- 15 Inch Ron
- Dean Atlas
- Aromatic Pat
- Craig’s Anus
- Mary Berry’s Crack Den
- Duncan Sparkles
- Low Tim
- Madam Hats
- Ali Ballbag Ltd.
- Long Ron
- Tepid Ken
- Ruth Worksurface
- Roxy Backwater
- Duncan Cardoors
- Sausage and Tits
- Pat Stott
- Donny Fortuna
- Careful Tits
- Bobby Resistance
- Special Agent Parsley
- Anton Crackpipe
- Sargeant Walnuts
- Pete! Dave! Over Here!
- Sausages and Laughter
Naturally, people loved them.
Image Screengrab, Pexels