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25 of the Funniest Posts We’ve Seen on Bluesky This Week

Poke Reporter. Updated October 29th, 2026

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Welcome, or welcome back, to the Poke’s round-up of funny things from Bluesky. We missed one due to technical difficulties – and that’s not that it was technically difficult to find good jokes, btw – but we’re back.

We think there’s something for everyone with a sense of humour, so let’s just dive right in.

1.

Us: Please don’t ever show up at my door.Us on Halloween: If 200 strangers don’t ring my doorbell I’m a failure.

— 𝙱𝚊𝚋𝚎 𝚁𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 (@unfitz.bsky.social) 2026-10-28T18:43:13.066Z

2.

Sticks and stones may break my bones which is why I don't hang out with people who hit me with sticks and stones

— Gef the Toking Mongoose (@geftokingmongoose.bsky.social) 2026-10-27T11:38:21.571Z

3.

30,000 years ago, a wolf tentatively approaches a fire…

— Erika Hall (@erikahall.bsky.social) 2026-10-23T02:26:13.204Z

4.

Meanest thing a British guy can call you

— Luke O'Neil (@lukeoneil47.bsky.social) 2026-10-28T12:13:38.938Z

5.

mfw Liz Truss has been round for tea

— Jonn Elledge (@jonnelledge.bsky.social) 2026-10-23T07:47:27.165Z

6.

Due to reverse engineering works, all bus services on Sunday will be replaced by trains.

— MꙬse Allain (@mooseallain.bsky.social) 2026-10-22T15:39:05.097Z

7.

Ballon D’or should be sponsored by Carte D’or and the winner should get a lifetime supply of ice cream

— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman.bsky.social) 2026-10-26T17:48:03.205Z

8.

Your early morning caffeine hit.

— CEEFAUX (@ceefaux.bsky.social) 2026-10-27T08:31:57.730Z

9.

HER: omg are you playing with that damn potato againME: don’t listen to her Mashleigh she’s just jealous of what we have

— “Spooky” Swim Jeans 👖🍸 (@shortsleevesuit.bsky.social) 2026-10-25T05:09:54.137Z

10.

The toilets on my train aren’t working but if you need to go, let the guard know & they’ll hold the train while you do your business in Leamington Spa. I feel like I’m in a Victoria Wood song.

— James O’Brien (@mrjamesob.bsky.social) 2026-10-25T15:45:43.583Z

11.

7 reasons why The Thing (1982) is a Christmas film: 1) snow 2) bearded men concealing surprises3) compulsory party games 4) introverts shunning group activities5) digestive issues 6) revellers bursting open to reveal partially assimilated canine lifeforms 7) knitwear

— Sarah Dempster (@dempster2000.bsky.social) 2026-10-23T18:01:22.086Z

12.

Yeah, I know what nuts are for.

— Jim (@jimllmixit.bsky.social) 2026-10-28T17:43:26.199Z

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