‘I was once late because I was hit in the head by Jesus.
My crazy religious aunt had passed away and had a ton of church statues and knickknacks. I inherited a few and as a young gothy type added them to my apartment decor.
I was dusting one morning before work and knocked Jesus off his axis on an overhead shelf. He hit me hard square in the middle of the forehead. Instantly I sprouted what looked like a unicorn horn. I was disoriented and late to my job with the world’s most dysfunctional manager. She sat me in her office berating me with a gigantic knot on my head and my vision blurring.
I found out I had a skull fracture and concussion. Jesus was heavy. I quit that job.’ -Zestyclose_Cold1455
11.
‘I once had to call in because the private stairs (and only entry) to my 2nd floor apartment went missing..
When they said “routine maintenance” they failed to mention “removed”..’ -eyes_like_thunder
12.
‘I was once late for work because I found a baby in the alleyway behind my apartment.’ -dumbinternetstuff
13.
‘One time when I was in high school I drove home for lunch. Turned on the TV and the local news showed an aerial shot of my neighborhood, with the headline “bengal tiger on the loose”.
We lived near a wild animal sanctuary and it had escaped. I loved calling in to tell my physics teacher that I was going to be late because there was an escaped tiger in my neighborhood! He didn’t believe me, of course. I had him put on the local news and we both had a good laugh.
The tiger was unharmed.’ -ixqy
14.
‘We had a lady at work say she forgot how to use her shower. We worked in health care. Nobody took it as a joke, she ended up getting an MRI and yeah, tumor.
Her willingness to joke about it with us saved her life tbh.’ -Efficient_Curve_6687
15.
‘Fell in a hole.
This was in 2005 and the guy didn’t have a cellphone. He was walking home one night and cut through a construction site and fell into an open pit with no way of getting out. So he had to wait there all night until the workers got there the next morning. He called out to the manager to come get him and take him home. Nobody believed him until the manager got back and was like “yea he wasn’t lying”’ -Kolipe
16.
‘Had an attorney cancel a meeting because he “had a bat in his pants.” Turns out he wasn’t lying. There was a bat in the leg of his pants when he went to put them on and he had to go get rabies shots.’ -keyzerzach
17.
‘Boss lady was late because she pulled over to look at dolphins. The restaurant we worked at was a 1/2 mile from the beach and she had just moved to Florida from Indiana and lived on the beach. There’s an intercoastal waterway on her way to work and she spotted a school surfacing. She was very excited. It was adorable. I married her.’ -JoopleberryJam
