‘What’s your best line you’ve delivered to a phone scammer?’ – 16 ringing successes
Scam calls range from the minor annoyance of having to pause your box set to tell someone you haven’t had an accident that wasn’t your fault – to the ones that end up with someone losing their life savings because they think they’re helping MI5 catch a crime lord.
Lord Joe of the Wheels – @BlokeOnWheels on Twitter – wondered how people handled those calls, so he asked this –
What’s your best line you’ve delivered to a phone scammer?
The whole thread was comedy gold, but we thought these stood out.
1.
“It’s not me you need to speak to, hang on I’ll get him…”
To my then 5 year old son: “it’s one of Santa’s helpers on the phone. Wants to know what you want for Christmas…”
— jojo77💙 (@other_mrs) March 21, 2022
2.
I tell them I was killed in an accident
— Bill Hayden 💙 (@BillHayden65) March 21, 2022
3.
"We understand you have got a problem with Windows" (on your computer)
Me.."Thank goodness you called you are a life saver my bathroom window is broken when can you come and fix it.— Lady Lem-Sip 🇪🇺🍋😷☘️🇮🇪🇫🇷🏴🌻 (@LemSip27) March 21, 2022
4.
Ever increasing querulousness
Ethel
That you Ethel
Ethel speak up can't hear you
Ethel!
Phone cut short
Have t be careful not to pee yourself laughing
Room of people you can all shout it
🤣🤣🤣— Dame Susan Robinson (@hatetorycuts) March 21, 2022
5.
Someone was after my wife to talk about "Marketing". I told her she'd left me for my own brother, leaving me and the 5 kids. And thanked her for calling because I didn't have anyone to talk to.
TBF, she rallied and and asked me if I'd like to take part.
— Posh Nigel 🎣⚽️🎸 (@Nigel1934) March 21, 2022
6.
I laughed at him and called him a plonker. He was outraged and put the phone down on me. Well, what did he expect – calling someone who lives in a flat to tell them they qualified for free loft insulation?
— Vivienne 💙🧡🌻 (@Vdweller) March 21, 2022
7.
The “yes I was in a car accident on Christmas Eve…..I hit a deer…..it wrecked my car”…..I can keep it going for ages until I get to the bit where I say I could see the red nose on the deer glowing……
— KitCatK2020 #FBPE 🏴🇮🇪🇪🇺 (@K2020Cat) March 21, 2022
8.
When someone phoned about a car accident I said
I’m so pleased you called, I don’t know which accident you are referring to though, what was the date of that one? I have so many…..
— Chris G (@sidneypaget) March 21, 2022
