23 favourite Billy Connolly moments and jokes to mark the Big Yin’s 80th birthday
13.
“Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace”
14.
“A lot of people say it’s a lack of vocabulary that makes you swear. Rubbish. I know thousands of words but I still prefer ‘fuck’”
15.
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
16.
17.
“What always staggers me is that when people blow their noses, they always look into their hankies to see what came out. What do they expect to find?”
18.
“When people say ‘life is short’. What the f***? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever f***ing does! What can you do that’s longer?””
19.
“One sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears. Personally, I think it’s bollocks”
20.
“A fart is just your arse applauding”
“There’s no need for anything else to be said!”
Billy Connolly talks about Scotland’s poetic love of swearing. in #MadeInScotland – https://t.co/jVIuj5l88I pic.twitter.com/tlT5YZt8Oc
— BBC Scotland Comedy (@BBCComedyScot) August 25, 2021
21.
[On politics] “Don’t vote. It just encourages them”
22.
“A lot of people are too easily offended. Religious people, for example. They’ve been offending other people for centuries”
23.
“I’m actually pale blue: it takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white”
And also this!
BILLY CONNOLLY – 80 Candles 🎂 – on Celibacy & the Catholic Church (1995).
— Michael Warburton (@MichaelWarbur17) November 24, 2022
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