People share the hilariously unlikely ways they ended up injuring themselves – 23 of the most unusual and embarrassing self-owns
13.
‘Thought a bus queue outside a book shop was a queue of people waiting for me to give a talk. Went along the line thanking them for coming.
‘Obviously the injury was psychological: does that count?’
@volewriter
14.
‘I have a scar on my cheek from when I tried to dig a hole in my mattress to hide porn when I was 13 and the knife caught in the latex and rebounded into my face. Millimetres from my eye! Coulda gone into my brain!’
@h00py67
15.
‘Poked myself in the eye while pushing my glasses up with the sudoku book’
@MJMcKean
16.
‘1) At 28 missed the last step going down stairs, landed on a shoe, rolled my ankle & tore it up. Got stuck in Wales for a month til I could travel home.
‘2) At 8 broke my right wrist falling of a dining chair
‘3) At 13 broke my left wrist running on a wet floor (after being warned).’
‘4) At 15 fractured a bone in my hand falling over when dancing to Spice Girls.
‘5) Around 7 or so gave girl a piggie back, fell over, she landed on concrete I on grass – she got bruised but I cut my head open. Still got the scar.’
‘6) Stubbed my to on an open drawer, walked away (didn’t put the drawer back) came back in and stubbed it again on the same drawer, broke 2 toes.
‘7) Tripped over a metal laundry hanger, flew towards the cat, tripped over him and broke another 2 toes.’
@CoffeeAndGinger
17.
‘When I was 6, I stretched a retractable measuring tape along the length of my house. I let it go, and it shot back across the ground towards me, whipping around like a snake. The metal tip swung up and sliced my finger open.
‘It was measureably the stupidest thing I’ve done.;
@robopelican
18.
‘Trying on a cute fall sweater in a store and tearing a tendon in my shoulder……
‘It is the lamest thing I have ever done other than straining my back by picking up cat toys on the carpet.’
@marycreatesart
19.
‘During Xmas dinner, my twin brother and I (5yo) hid under the table, laughing & shoving M&Ms up each other’s noses and blowing them out onto each other. Until they got stuck. We screamed, almost tipped over the table, bright red ‘amp; green snot oozing from our faces. Mom almost died.’
@JenChancellor
20.
‘I fell asleep on my arm and woke up with it completely numb. I tried to shake it awake with my other arm and ended up dropping it on my own face essentially fully punching myself in the eye at 4am.;
@eddyrose13
21.
Cutting a bagel. With my finger through the hole.’
@veneficaultrix
22.
‘I knocked myself out on a glass door I didn’t see.
‘My husband accidentally slammed his penis in the fridge whilst trying to midnight snack.
‘We’re a perfect couple.’
@soapachu
23.
‘A) years ago I sneezed so hard that I slammed my face into the sink & fractured one of my teeth.
‘B) in 2004, trying to strip varnish, I poured about a gallon of solvent over a counter next to a lit pilot light. BOOM. I’m two-toned now’
@HawthornRants
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Source @eleanorkpenny