Our 25 Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
Watching this and slightly surprised that it doesn’t end with him noticing a cream cracker under the settee. https://t.co/99203QoXdn
— Matthew Sweet (@DrMatthewSweet) January 20, 2026
14.
sleeping on the couch is underrated when it's not for imminent divorce type reasons
— dan (@Dansplainer) January 18, 2026
15.
I was stung by a wasp so I’m drinking plenty of whisky. It happened around forty years ago, but you can’t be too careful.
— Jim Corbridge (@MrBonMot) January 18, 2026
16.
When I win the lottery I'm going to buy linkedin and then turn it off
— fifi❤️ (@RefilweSeboko) January 22, 2026
17.
oh i’m so sorry i missed your text even though i haven’t stopped staring at my phone since 2007.
— signüll (@signulll) January 17, 2026
18.
You don't defeat the far-right by stooping to their tactics. You instead invite them on to Question Time to confront their hatred in the discourse dojo. If that fails, you take them down with zingers on Mock The Week.
— Andy Churnwell (@churnwell) January 19, 2026
19.
your secret is safe with me unless it’s funny
— Hadas Weiss (@weiss_hadas) January 18, 2026
20.
I still write handwritten grocery lists on paper. Then I play this great game where I leave the list sitting on the kitchen counter & try to GUESS what was on it from 5 miles away at the grocery store.
— Tammy, follower of Jesus Christ (@TammyDoodleDo) January 22, 2026
21.
“Yeah I went to culinary school. I majored in Egg.” – How chefs probably sound
— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) January 18, 2026
22.
They should name these storm winds after people whose names actually relate to the type of weather. Like Hurricane Higgins, Windy Miller, Gale Platt.
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 🇺🇦 (@craiguito) January 21, 2026
23.
It's the first 45 years of January that are the hardest.
— Bookaholic Bex (@BexBookaholic) January 20, 2026
24.
[First date]
Me: I’m gonna need you to spell the word “lose”
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) January 19, 2026
25.
I saw a woman walking her dogs and asked,
“What are their names?”
She said, “Calvin and Klein.”
I said, “Like the underwear?”
She smiled “Yeah, They’re boxers!”
— 🤠 (@heavensbvnny) January 22, 2026
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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