25 of the funniest posts we’ve seen on Bluesky this week
Well, well, well, if it isn’t February, swanning in here like butter wouldn’t melt after leaving us all stuck in January for so long. Since you’re here now, how about you put the kettle on while we read through these funny Bluesky posts.
Oh, and no slinking off early, like you did last year.
1.
DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression.
CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?
DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.
C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?
DR: Now look
— Wrong Station (@thewrongstation.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 3:58 AM
2.
absolutely slammed with meetings today
— reni 🦌 (@reniadeb.com) February 2, 2026 at 12:23 PM
3.
The genie “You can go back to meet your 16 year-old self, but you can only say three words”
Me, arriving in 1995 “Buy Apple socks-“
Reappears now “-stocks! Damnit.”
Sees I’m wearing socks with apples on them “motherfu-“— Bethany Black (@bethanyblack.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 1:00 PM
4.
I too have had such trouble changing a duvet cover.
— Simon Pegg (@simonpegg.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 9:13 AM
5.
ME: whenever i make fried eggs the yolks break but when i make scrambled eggs they don’t
ALANIS MORISSETTE: i’m sorry but the lyrics are already done
— punxsutawney fro (@frovo.bsky.social) February 1, 2026 at 6:59 PM
6.
Settled on a name for my inexplicably menacing patio furniture emporium: Something Wicker This Way Comes®
— Sarah Dempster (@dempster2000.bsky.social) January 30, 2026 at 4:26 PM
7.
Watching the best new artist category of the Grammys is a great way to remind myself that I’m definitely an old person now 🙃
— Gina (@perilinpink.bsky.social) February 2, 2026 at 1:40 AM
8.
This day in history. 1952. In the UK the first TV detector van was unveiled, to be used to menace those with unlicensed TV sets. In Canada we had the same thing but for unlicensed personal Zambonis.
— Jimmer Cork-Bottle (@jimmerthatisall.bsky.social) February 1, 2026 at 10:19 AM
9.
Hamnet sequel ideas:
Macdeth
King Leer
The comedy of Errols
Oh, hello!
A midbummer nights dream— HappyToast (@happytoast.co.uk) January 31, 2026 at 9:55 AM
10.
me finally owning a home in a walkable neighborhood when im too old to walk
— derek guy (@dieworkwear.bsky.social) February 3, 2026 at 3:31 AM
11.
A pot calling a kettle anything at all would be a medical miracle
— josh (oldfriend99) (@oldfriend99.bsky.social) February 3, 2026 at 5:24 AM
12.
Birds do it,
Bees do it,
Even educated fleas do it,
Let's do it,
Let's shit outdoors— Glennyrodge (@glennyrodge.bsky.social) January 31, 2026 at 10:16 AM