Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week

13.

Kinda jealous of medieval peasants. Their villages only had 1 idiot.

— Conspiratorial Templates (@mynamehear) February 11, 2026

14.

No empire in history has survived Freddos reaching £1.

It is truly over for the UK. Get out while you can. pic.twitter.com/ULX7U5g3Uz

— Peter Hague (@peterrhague) February 12, 2026

15.

If I had £5 for every time I've opened up the Clock app on my phone instead of the Calculator app, I'd have 11.14pm.!

— Jim Corbridge (@MrBonMot) February 8, 2026

16.

i should be able to put my phone on Please Disturb mode so my friends know I want attention

— trash jones (@jzux) February 10, 2026

17.

Can we end the madness already and add a g to the end of orangutan?

— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) February 7, 2026

18.

Them: AI is taking over the world.

My Phone: Hey man, I tried to update last night. Not sure what happened. Failed again. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow. Kinda tired now so who knows.

— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) February 11, 2026

19.

HOT TAKE: There should also be an Autumn Olympics with events like conkers, leaf-kicking, and tasting delicious soups.

— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) February 11, 2026

20.

Wish they'd let you take a silly one during x-rays

— Fallon (@filthtofilth) February 10, 2026

21.

I wonder who first saw a box of frogs and thought “that’s mad that is.”

— VeryBritishProblems (@SoVeryBritish) February 8, 2026

22.

I don't want AI. I want resealable cereal bags and the light in my eyes back.

— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) February 10, 2026

23.

I’m nearly 50 but earlier today someone guessed my age to be 22.

Ok, that someone was a very small child who also then thought that maybe I was 94, but I’m still absolutely taking their first guess as a personal win.

— Amanda (@Pandamoanimum) February 10, 2026

24.

I was drinking a beer and the bartender yelled “Does anyone know CPR??” I replied, “I know the entire alphabet!” and we all laughed and laughed.

Well, except for this one guy

— Weekday Jokes (@weekdayjokes) February 8, 2026

25.

people claim WFH is bad for the economy but at least at home i’m only stealing company time instead of company time and massive amounts of company stationary

— Dan Douglas (@dandouglas) February 11, 2026

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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week

Image Wikimedia Commons, Wikimedia Commons, Wikimedia Commons