What the Dickens?! The Telegraph have published an article entitled ‘In Defence of Child Labour’ and it’s beyond self-parody
The Daily Telegraph has never been a terribly liberal publication, but its slide from traditional one-nation conservatism to batshit, frothing, anti-woke rage-bait has been something to behold in the last few years.
And now it seems they’ve reached their peak (or nadir), with an op-ed by Angus Colwell entitled ‘In Defence of Child Labour’. Seriously!
It probably won’t come as much of a surprise to learn that Angus Colwell went to Westminster School where fees are £25k year so we doubt very much that he spent much of his childhood up chimneys or down the pit.
Anyway, here’s the Telegraph plugging the article on Twitter. It’s probably for the best that it’s behind a paywall.
🔴 'The grimmer the work they do, the more incentivised they’ll feel to work hard at school so they can avoid a rubbish job' | Writes Angus Colwell
Read more ⬇️https://t.co/myhPja56zO pic.twitter.com/lzUk2tBc8t
— The Telegraph (@Telegraph) February 11, 2026
The replies, as you might expect, were less than supportive.
1.
You mean *poor* children, right? Not public school-educated, straw boater hat-wearing children, correct?
— Nole (@NoleReeve) February 11, 2026
2.
Can you just fold as a newspaper already please
— Josh 🦚🇵🇷☭ (@theleedsknees) February 13, 2026
3.
Another posho who has never worked hard or gone without in his life wants working class kids back up the chimneys.
— Samuel Sweek 🇵🇸🇨🇺 (@samuelsweek) February 14, 2026
4.
People who genuinely hold these beliefs in 2026 should be hunted for sport.
— Choobs (@Choooooobs) February 14, 2026
5.
please tell me this is parody
— Trevor Morgan (@trevm_again) February 11, 2026
6.
I see we've reached the "isn't it about time we sent children back up chimneys?" point of late-stage capitalism.https://t.co/9ijbQC7rj9
— Alan Ferrier (@alanferrier) February 12, 2026
7.
Angus Colwell: pic.twitter.com/31lzPNnGhp
— Estoy Boy (@skzip888) February 12, 2026
8.
Angus with a silent 'g'.
— Michael Marshall (@michael53021960) February 15, 2026
9.
Most expensive education in the world didn’t stop you ending up slopping out trash for a shit rag did it?
— C . A . T (@DeathUnicursal) February 15, 2026
10.
Should be sent to a labour camp for writing this
— Tom🍉🇱🇧🇾🇪 (@TomasOFearail) February 15, 2026
11.
This whole newspaper needs to be wiped out of existence!
— Kiril Atanasov (@KirilAtana78586) February 15, 2026
12.
The Telegraph when minors get comfortable with the dignity of not being exploited for every cent: pic.twitter.com/TywQm38xww https://t.co/IVQpewGRyD
— Zlhacky ⛄️ (@ManTotaly) February 14, 2026
13.
Some times I really hate living here, what the fuck is this? https://t.co/pd8Hbbvba7
— Simon Peter (@thatsimonpeter) February 13, 2026
14.
A real article in the 21st century: "In defence of child labour", or, "make them suffer young, so they'll work harder in adulthood". If civilization is to survive, the world's value system needs a complete overhaul. https://t.co/YK4VVWPyGp
— Hasitha Liyanage (@h_liyan) February 15, 2026
15.
I don't think I could write a more telegraph headline than "in defence of child labour" just a perfect summary of the whole institution isn't it. https://t.co/REAzGLlgLg
— Çakırtıl (@chakipillar) February 14, 2026
16.
never seen a face that screams "I grew up with servants" more than this smug prick https://t.co/5dr1e3tbpz pic.twitter.com/DCPCFwhh6j
— The Mighty Mk1 Ford Transit (@ShatteredSFW) February 15, 2026
17.
I think we should send these pricks who write this crap to workhouses and see how they fucking like it https://t.co/Q62M2oFleI
— lyra (@exit_everything) February 13, 2026
Source Telegraph Image Screengrab