Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Hello and welcome, or welcome back, to the Poke’s weekly round-up of funny stuff from Twitter.
We’ve dug through the misinformation, disinformation, AI slop, and trolling to find 25 genuinely funny posts. Some are topical, because it’s important to occasionally allow yourself a laugh to offset the other effects of the news.
We hope you find something you like.
1.
Hard to imagine a more embarrassing death than being beaten with a candlestick in a library by someone named colonel mustard
— Moon Dragon (@frozenaesthetic) March 21, 2026
2.
I don't want to go into detail, but the Dyson ball cleaner is a very misleading product name…
— Doc (@DocAtCDI) March 23, 2026
3.
Yes, Word. That is exactly what I meant. pic.twitter.com/rCxRbhfgSx
— Mylee J. Miller has a 💀BOOK DEAL💀 (@myleejmiller) March 26, 2026
4.
Every headline now is something like:
China powers office building with spoonful of baker's yeast; America's new AI surgeon general says hot dogs count as vegetables
— Conspiratorial Templates (@mynamehear) March 23, 2026
5.
my toxic trait is telling my cat he is a good little boy when he has actually been committing atrocities all day every day
— soup🍓 (@thrluv) March 21, 2026
6.
One day you're young and cool, the next Amazon is sending you a deal they think you'll like and it's a soup ladle
— meghan (@deloisivete) March 25, 2026
7.
Twitter's "For You":
"FYI, one millisecond ago you paused on that photo of the Rat & Parrot in Harrow for less than a glance.
"So I have prepared nothing but exterior shots of various other Rats & Parrot which you can enjoy for the next fifty five urgent flicks of your finger."— Danny Wallace (@dannywallace) March 25, 2026
8.
That’s £147 in dog money https://t.co/hQyxOJzQJw
— barney farmer (@barneyfarmer) March 24, 2026
9.
So now you know. I didn’t get the BBC Director General job. My pitch was based on bringing back Hi-de-Hi and Ceefax. Their loss.
— Carl Wheatley (@TheCarlWheatley) March 25, 2026
10.
What if I start commenting "Who asked?" under everyone's LinkedIn posts?
— Weirdly Wired (@6drinkamy_) March 26, 2026
11.
news websites be like the world is ending I’ll tell you when it might stop but first pay me 9.99 a month
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) March 25, 2026
12.
110-year-old Turkish grandma shares her secret to a long life:
"i never once used Microsoft Teams" pic.twitter.com/OOhfZtkYn7
— james hawkins (@james406) March 25, 2026